Look At Him Go, His Legs Like Black Smoke

My thinking behind last night's exchange was simple, put it out there that this isn't how two normal friends would be dealing with one another and then from there it would hopefully become evident where this was headed and that would be better for everyone, this way no one can say that it was never brought up and if things went pear shaped then we'd both be in the kak together.  We'd be in kak but we'd be in it together.  Simple right? No. When is it ever simple.

Last night was a gross escalation of finger pointing and hurt feelings that was never meant to be. I'll admit my approach was far from perfect but that's how it's always been, that's how I do me. I know I can come in at 200mph, in a giant fire ball screaming, "I'm here, where are the women" but that's just me, I'm senseless. I always am going to be more provocative and daring with you because that's what really gets things going. It often seems like we're sitting in a church, quietly and afraid to do something naughty just in case the either one of us thinks it's silly and gives a shunning but I don't care. I want you to make a snorting noise mid sermon. I want you to sing out of tune at the top of your lungs. I want you to drop your hat in the middle of the aisle and scurry along like a giant rat to get it because I like that in you. I like the sillinesa. I like the reaction. I like the ten tonne angry lady that sits inside your belly once a month and makes you hate me, I like all of that. And that's why I wanted to know if you're in this as much as I am.

Ok, I understand that you have so much more riding on your side. You have a whole life with someone and that's a big thing, something that can't readily be changed. But I also have a life on this side too.

Yes I may not have a string of suitors on call, contraty to all popular belief,  but that still doesn't mean my life is on hold. I could be out there finding the next best thing to make me happy and the main reason I'd settle with them is because they're there, willing and able. If that's all that I wanted then I'd be posted all over social media in tandem with my new lady friend,  no stress.  But that's not how I operate. I'm yet to deny myself something I want and all this here is yet to be something I don't, I'm just a little worried that it'll soon stop making sense to either one of us and we both would've missed the opportunities in our lives to find the happiniess staring right at us.