You know what I admire the most about you? I admire your braveness. Your ressilience. The way you're unafraid to get back onto that horse that bucked you off so hard that you damn near nearly shat your pants. I know I shouldn't really be writting a post that pays homage to the way you let yourself for the same things. I know I tell you that moving forward doesnt involve the things of the past but even I cant fault the way you take it all in your stride.
Im bitter. Im a mess. I dont even think I know quite what it is to really care for someone quite like how you've made it sound. Obviously I've had my run ins with the silent killer. The idyllic mess that is love and I know what it can do. But where you and I differ is that I see it as a weakness. I see it as a disgusting smear on my psyche. I would be the first to let it all wash out just so I can deal with some other crap. I love being able to look back and see the progress I've made and for a long time that involved not going back to a state of mind that I knew. You on the other hand, you seem to almost crave it. If I had half of the courage and strength needed to invest in something new that you sem to have in bucketfuls, I'd be on some other shit right now. I know you're fragile. I know it all cuts deep. I know when it hits home, it hits like a steam train in full force but somehow it seems to all be in your stride. You're one crazy bitch, and that makes me feel better.
Would I compare thee to a summers day? No, I hate summer. You're like my computer keyboard. You're a boon to my existence. A lost little nutter that packs a dollop and a listening ear that has been chewed but never disappears.
Well done Hayden, you can stay...
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