To My Kids.

I don't like little kids. I don't like the idea of having to raise a family, having to support it, love and nurture it and watch over it. It seems tiring.

No I'm lying. If we're all honest with ourselves here, I'm going to end up with a lovely little lady and two beautiful kids. In a perfect world I'd just live as a bachelor in a penthouse suite with my long term girlfriend of many hair colours and surprises but we don't live in that world and unless I really luck out, suburban lifestyle is set for me.

The thing with kids though is that they're getting worse and worse with every generation. I honestly do think that my generation was the last of the good ones. We came at a time just before the internet. We were there when it was born and we grew up alongside it. We've seen technological advancements flying all over the show at rapid rates and we have been able to keep up. The big problem has come with the kids after us. Our biggest downfall has been the Yolo generation. If my kids ever want me to love them, they'll stick faaaaaaar from that kak. I hope and pray it doesn't exist, or get worse, by the time I have kids.

If my daughter ever takes a cap from a guy and puts it on, in a bid to be cute or to show her interest in him then I've failed that child as a parent. I don't dig that look at all hey. When I look back to how the girls I grew up with did that and how stupid they all look in their photos, I cringe for them. If my son ever comes up to me and says he wants to buy a snap back cap, without a skateboard, then I've failed that child. If my son wants to wear those things in my house then he better be sponsored by Element or something and not using it to give out to girls with daddy issues. My kids will be allowed to dress as they choose, to a point. I really don't mind if I have a gangster OG for a son or if he thinks that black skinnies are the best things ever (If you really wanna make sure I adore you and am proud of you as my child, then you'll be living the black skinny life.) The only thing I don't want is for them to wear sports clothes out in the real world. If you're gonna wear a pair of jeans, a golfer and some New balance training shoes, you can go live under a bridge. I don't want to see that eyesore in my house. If my daughter comes at me dressed in a pair of bootleg jeans and a shirt with enough bedazzlement to mimic an airport runway then she can get a plot out in Phoenix.

Knowing my luck, I'll probably have kids that do the exact opposite of what I think is cool. I'll probably have a son that constantly has a girlfriend, which is chilled, at least he's getting portion but I wont be too amped if he's doing that since grade 3. My daughter will probably be a sporty little poes and play copious amounts of varying sportsball games and activities which means I'll have to go to every single game/meet/practice. I'll be at my wits end by the close of primary school. Musically, the only thing I can hope to expect from my kids is that they have diverse taste. I've been lucky enough to be exposed to so many different types of music and have learnt to appreciate them in their own special way. They'll be growing up listening to Bloc Party, Foals, KOL, CWK, Florence and the Machine and so many other things that they'll be able to hold their own with anyone who has decent taste in music. I would want them to show me what it is that's cool in their day. I want to know what's relevant and if they're lucky, we'll be hitting concerts like they're xanax.

There's still so much I want to give my kids a heads up on and in time I'll get to it. I'm still growing up as a human being and once I hit the ultimate pinnacle of cool, at about 46, they'll have all the information they need. Growing up is hard but luckily they'll have a dad that transcends time and space. Read my blog kids, you'll learn a lot.
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The Original - Incubus.

I only go where I'm wanted
You go only where you want
I aim to be more like you
There is a ghost in my house
Rattling handles on every door
Show us an open window or two
Would you?

Doors are starting to close
And you drew a rose my, my
Your mind it is original, oh
You're a skeleton key, opening me,
My, my; your mind it is original,
Girl you're the original
Always were
And always will be

The flowers of adaptation
Unfold and lovingly alarm
You effortlessly ring that bell
Your stripes are yours and yours only
The bow ideal of rare birds
And now I am under your spell
Oh, under your spell

Doors are starting to close
And you drew a rose my, my
Your mind it is original, oh
You're a skeleton key, opening me,
My, my; your mind it is original,
Girl you're the original
Always were
And always will be
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Should I Write A Post About This?

Should I write a post about this? I don't know. Am I writing a post about this? No I'm not. Then what am I doing? I'm just cocking around with the keys on my keypad.

I haven't written a post on my daily adventures in a while. It's not that my days are dull or anything, I'm still as full of verm and vigour as I was before. The problem is that I've literally been drowning in what we tend to call "Life." I've had weeks filled with past papers, ink blotches all over my hands and frustrating back and forths with girls over feelings, like I don't have anything better to do with my time. Honestly, if I could trade shoes with a 6 year old and not have to think about anything more than the next mud pie I'm going to bake, I'd be a happy man. I won't even get into what's cutting back in the Sithole residence because that's a post for another day but let's just say things aren't the smoothest. Just last weekend I ended up misplacing my phone. On a Sunday afternoon. All because my mind was overloaded. I need to find a steady rhythm again. I used to do a bit of school and a bit of work and I'd be set. These last two weeks have been devoid of work and that's set me askew. When you're away from certain circles, it gives you time to process certain things. The only downfall to this is that it cuts into the time one can spend with their friends.

But the main reason behind this post is what's been going on in my head, mainly the area that deals with certain dormant feelings. I don't like feelings. I think they can be rather tedious and a waste of time and we'd all be better off with less of them. On the other hand though, I think that they're fun things to work with from time to time. I'm a person set up to love and if you took that from me, I don't know where I would eventually be. I'm a little hypocritical and that's okay because this is my blog and I can say whatever pile of steaming brown I want. I'm usually a character that doesn't like competition. I don't think that it's fun at all.

I've always had a certain amount of opposition when it comes to the girls I'm interested in. From jealous exes to pretty boss DJs, I've done it all. This time though, things are a little different. My ideal relationship situation with a girl would be that we just enjoy each other's company. We hook up, go through the motions when the opportunity arises and then we leave things there, picking up where we left off the next time we're together. No questions, no emotions, just fun. That's all I want, fun. I've had fun in relationships before, my last one was a great laugh but that was a completely different kind of fun compared to this. This here is taboo. This is something we rightfully shouldn't be doing. The fact that we see each other more than the twice a week limit is already reason enough to call it quits and erase it from memory but let's be honest, where's the fun in that? Where is the fun in playing by the rules? Have we ever really done that? Sure we like to mess each other around and push and pull to find a reaction but is it wise this time? So much has happened since the last time, we're two completely different people now. We're gonna bite a lot harder this time.

Haha I'm tickled pink just writing this. I don't know what'll happen in the next few days. Maybe I'll wake up thinking I should settle down, become an upstanding citizen and find myself a nice winter girlfriend. Or maybe I'll keep going as I am, with no set course or plan of action except to draw happiness from any situation that presents its self. The pressure I felt just this morning has dissipated and I feel like I could do with a bit of adventure. How hard can it be?

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hmm

She sat at the window, cigarette in hand and a goofy smile on her face. I stared out the window, looking at white clouds in the sky as they mingled together with the smoke she blew out. Worries or cares were things far from my mind. My reality was this moment here. My focus completely drawn to her, the she that was in front of me. Our silly exchanges and knowing looks came from a place with too much behind it for it all to be innocent. We know all too well that this is a bad idea but we wouldn't do it if it wasn't. Why would you want to hold back against a little excitement, a little risk taking. Can you play with fire if you're too afraid of being burnt? I've never been able to hold back when it comes to something I want. It seems silly to keep away from the things that bring you happiness just because there could be a risk of it backfiring. If we kept away from things because it could go wrong then our lives would be shallow cesspits of despair. There's so much that will go down before we ever reach normality. We're far from reaching any kind of reasonable conclusion. Our attention is drawn in various enticing directions, we have sensory overloads like a dog sniffing his way through the park. We're on the run from one another at the speed of 27 bouquets of white roses.