No I'm lying. If we're all honest with ourselves here, I'm going to end up with a lovely little lady and two beautiful kids. In a perfect world I'd just live as a bachelor in a penthouse suite with my long term girlfriend of many hair colours and surprises but we don't live in that world and unless I really luck out, suburban lifestyle is set for me.
The thing with kids though is that they're getting worse and worse with every generation. I honestly do think that my generation was the last of the good ones. We came at a time just before the internet. We were there when it was born and we grew up alongside it. We've seen technological advancements flying all over the show at rapid rates and we have been able to keep up. The big problem has come with the kids after us. Our biggest downfall has been the Yolo generation. If my kids ever want me to love them, they'll stick faaaaaaar from that kak. I hope and pray it doesn't exist, or get worse, by the time I have kids.
If my daughter ever takes a cap from a guy and puts it on, in a bid to be cute or to show her interest in him then I've failed that child as a parent. I don't dig that look at all hey. When I look back to how the girls I grew up with did that and how stupid they all look in their photos, I cringe for them. If my son ever comes up to me and says he wants to buy a snap back cap, without a skateboard, then I've failed that child. If my son wants to wear those things in my house then he better be sponsored by Element or something and not using it to give out to girls with daddy issues. My kids will be allowed to dress as they choose, to a point. I really don't mind if I have a gangster OG for a son or if he thinks that black skinnies are the best things ever (If you really wanna make sure I adore you and am proud of you as my child, then you'll be living the black skinny life.) The only thing I don't want is for them to wear sports clothes out in the real world. If you're gonna wear a pair of jeans, a golfer and some New balance training shoes, you can go live under a bridge. I don't want to see that eyesore in my house. If my daughter comes at me dressed in a pair of bootleg jeans and a shirt with enough bedazzlement to mimic an airport runway then she can get a plot out in Phoenix.
Knowing my luck, I'll probably have kids that do the exact opposite of what I think is cool. I'll probably have a son that constantly has a girlfriend, which is chilled, at least he's getting portion but I wont be too amped if he's doing that since grade 3. My daughter will probably be a sporty little poes and play copious amounts of varying sportsball games and activities which means I'll have to go to every single game/meet/practice. I'll be at my wits end by the close of primary school. Musically, the only thing I can hope to expect from my kids is that they have diverse taste. I've been lucky enough to be exposed to so many different types of music and have learnt to appreciate them in their own special way. They'll be growing up listening to Bloc Party, Foals, KOL, CWK, Florence and the Machine and so many other things that they'll be able to hold their own with anyone who has decent taste in music. I would want them to show me what it is that's cool in their day. I want to know what's relevant and if they're lucky, we'll be hitting concerts like they're xanax.
There's still so much I want to give my kids a heads up on and in time I'll get to it. I'm still growing up as a human being and once I hit the ultimate pinnacle of cool, at about 46, they'll have all the information they need. Growing up is hard but luckily they'll have a dad that transcends time and space. Read my blog kids, you'll learn a lot.
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