Friday, January 11, 2013

Subject.

An uncommon beauty travelling through. Visions etched on the inside of my eyelids, so much so that I can see your face in the Catherine's wheels of my tight shut eyes.

You're the lucid moment in my madness. The metronome stitching together this cacophony. My words aren't lost on you, only sometimes a little wasted. I can't control the failings of my vocabulary. I can't siphon out the words to make you better understand my brain's adept description of you. Misinterpreted sentences and unforgiven gestures have lead to our demise, but the strings that control the puppetry have always welcomed our torrid love affair.

I know you well, from impassioned lust to fervent love. You know my flaws better than I do, and I could label all I find lacking in you. We could go back and forth for days but what I admire in you would take me years to put down. It's that shy, innocent smile that directly links your heart to your face. Your eyes that fuel romantic stories, pools of an uncertain green which pull and drown me away from all of my vapid thoughts. Your laugh that still rings through my head, releasing endorphins like my favourite song. You have the kind of demeanour that tugs at my indifference. Pulling me out of the cave that I have hollowed out to keep me safe and protected from the emotions that I fear to show, but you've seen them. You've dined underneath their burning lights, you've felt their heat and watched, marvelling at how they reddened your soft skin. You've recited the stories of how they left you with breath fleeting. You know things that no one would ever believe.

Right now I fear the thought of you. I fear the closeness that you so easily obtain, the comfort you bring within me. I fear that your open palm readily has turned into a closed fist without the merest warning. I've known what it's like to lose you. I vowed never to face that again. I'm not about to go back and relive the past in hopes of trying to change things around because that would never work. When it comes to our understanding, there is no point in pretending that we are closer than this because we both know that what lies on ahead, is a lot more blurry than anything else before.
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