I was at Ben's house this morning when I got the message from my parents. My dad sent me an sms and I was like, whoa that's quite heavy and then a few hours later my mom sent me a message too, that's when it really hit. My cousin Mlu, or Jack, as he was more affectionately known was definitely one, if not my most favourite cousin. He stayed with us when he was studying his electrical engineering degree thingy so he was with us for a while. He was leaving work when he was in an accident. Completely snuffed out young and in his prime. Right when everything was looking up, it all went upside down.
We got on well. I've always been the youngest around my cousins, even though there are younger rats than me. I was always the kid that was too big for his boots and always tried to squeeze himself into what they all were doing. I can see now, when I look back, that I was poes annoying and that's why I give the younger rats some face time because I know what it's like to hustle. He always gave me a bit of time. That kind of thing stuck with me.
When I met up with my dad at his office this afternoon, he told me that it had really hit my mom hard. We went from his office to my aunt's house and the atmosphere was intensely heavy. I'm not one who is often touched by things like that, I've seen deaths in the family before but there was something different about this. This was something that bothered my ultimate favourite lady ever, my mom and her sister, my second favourite. You know when you sit there trying to kind of find something to say but no words come to you? They teach you how to deal with this kind of thing in school. They don't teach you how to speak to a grieving person in L.O. No one teaches you about the social cues, you've got to learn that for yourself. We're stuck on this planet with so little tools and knowledge that I kind of wonder, what even is the point of spending 12 years of your life being "taught" so you can be prepared for life when the real truth is that as soon as you walk out those school gates, the first thing that comes at you will leave you flat on your face?
This life is amazing, a real blessing and that's something we often take for granted from most days. I know that's so cliché to say right now but that's where my mind is, trapped deep inside every single clichés.
Sent from my BlackBerry®
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