YOU BE TRIPPIN'
I wish I understood the female mind sometimes. I was speaking to my mate a few weekends ago and he was talking about the girl he was vibing with. She's a great girl and what not and for me, she had the most epic house in the world. Her mom's interior decor game was sitting on God-Mode. It's like what I imagined my house to be like if I lived in Durban with my artistic young wife. (I don't know much else about her so all I have to judge on is her living room). Anyway, he was saying how one minute she'd been blowing hotter than the midday sun and next thing she had frozen him out like it was an all new ice age. It doesn't make sense. I mean, why can't words be exchanged to establish what's happening instead of expecting the hardest game of charades ever? I know it's hard sometimes to say what you mean. There's always that fear of what you're saying not being agreed with or whatever but hey, it has to happen. We're all older than 12, we have a basic command of language.
I had a great night with you. I'm 100% glad I let myself be talked into coming out. The problem with drinking for Dutch Courage is that the next step from there is Dutch Dickhead and I'm pretty certain your friends felt that full force. I fell jackshit for having come and stolen you from them. I mean you've got to understand that this was something that was a while in the making and situations like those don't just throw themselves in your lap so easily hence I took it, and you, with two hands. Under normal circumstances I'd apologise the next day but I think there's just things here that I can't readily let slide yet. It was great. I hope you thought it was great because I did. I especially loved the part where you pushed a defenceless dog into the pool and I had to save it. That made me feel manly. I don't know why but it feels like I'm meant to impress you. Let me not say meant, I feel like I should. Call it my over inflated ego or something else but I guess it kinda stems from your whole situation and stuff, I wanna be here for you, to help take your mind off things and ease you into a place where you're more comfortable and confident as a person. Yes I know I don't quite remember what everything I said, not many people ever do but I do know I said a lot of things that were, honest, for lack of a better word. I'm as transparent as the Ocean's piss when it comes to you which I guess is ok and stuff but that's not me. I'm usually closed off and it doesn't take much to have me shut off completely.
That's the thing. I woke up the next morning and you were speaking to me still so I couldn't have shoved my foot so badly down my throat then, but I don't know, today was strange. I was caught off guard. Yeah I had a crappy day regardless but I mean, yeah. I'm not expecting anything major out of just one night of hanging out. We're not promised to be bethrode or anything. For all I know it could've just been a nice one night hook up and if that's the case then I'm complete chillos too but if not, then I don't know that. You're still finding your feet and I'm not about to try sweep you off them before you even find them or anything like that. Just talk to me, you know. I know you're also in a bit of limbo right now, it's expected but this is easily fixable with just the use of words. Speak to me, I don't bite when I'm sober.
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