Its funny how we falter on the spot right, snap thinking has lead to some really great things in life, and so in a sense they are the best. I guess I've gotten used to the whole thinking for myself thing, the whole one guy mentality, where this moment is where it is and is what counts.
Ok I lie, I still have that whole mentality I had for 6 months and 29 days, makes a few things difficult but I mean Im not complaining, its saved me many an awkward moment just this weekend so maybe it pays off?
Ok Im lying again. What pays off is having an understanding that doesn't befit your character if you know what I mean so its a bit of both things. Its like walking on the road but you're walking on the dividing line. I feel like my little oasis of calm has been raped from me, like it was never meant to be mine and now I must suffer and be put to the stake. Like really its chilled, I understand we value people and situations differently. I feel like Im working with Wallow here, at least he speaks it as he sees it, he will call an orange an orange and he will chow it too just so any doubters will know, or cuz he's just keen to chow an orange?
Age has nothing to do with anything cuz I can tell anyone I was born in 1983 and they'll believe me, it could even be true but what really defines it is if I act that age you know? I usually dont act 18, in fact that is just a silly number to me, Im chilled with most things that I may as well be 15 but when it comes to that which I take seriously, like my emotional well being then it makes sense to act like what my I.D says so if you want to muck about when Im trying to speak to you on a normal level then its your baby.
God forbid if its thought I'll just wait here forever cuz that aint true, once boredom strikes with free reign then obviously I'll entertain myself in other ways.
Im probably painted as this boyfriend who did nothing but treat his girl like a second rate bath mat and with the company you keep, I really wouldn't expect any less and it doesn't really phase me. Forget the fact that not a single word has come from me to deface your character in anyway, forget that when you really think about it, half the things claimed barely even happened, you were just too bent on them to think otherwise. Forget that when you're alone because the people who claim to be there for you are out there being and I haven't moved an inch. Forget the little excitements when time was spent together, were those even there? Forget the moments and experiences any guy would never pass off with his mates because he reckoned the ones made with you would really hold something special? So forget it cuz it seems like you already have, in fact I doubt it even registered when it happened because it seems like I should do the same, its what you want and thats what we should all be doing right, not your words?
This is turning out to be a post some eejit being a baby as I know I'll be told when the Boss Shadow Boxing Acceleratah reads this but Im sorry, Im actually pissed.
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