The Bygone Era

I was just going through my old blog posts, I still am as I write this and I must say I've changed so much since I first took keyboard to the internet. When I read these things and laugh, as they often make me do, I can't help but feel a little sad. I've grown to dislike so many things and have come to learn to love so many others.

I used to be so excited by everything back then. It really amazes me how I found half of those things to be so "kiff" and "awesome" and ''epic''. I don't even see the faces of half the people I wrote about. I don't know where they are and what they're doing and with who, because I just plainly don't care. I'm very different to how I once was. I've actually had a girl dump me for the first time like I always wanted and thinking back on it, I realise that was something stupid to want. I longer fight for lasting love and the allegiance to relationships like I used to. If anything I find them sanctimonious these days. I had three people come to me just this week with relationship issues and every single time I think I just called for the clean break. I don't take what people say to heart as often as I did before, hence the lack of scathing posts about silly little girl's and greased up steroid junkies. The amusing anecdotes I used to write about have all but diminished. The type of thing I do and the amount of it that I can actually post about has changed drastically. I don't feel safe telling my little corner of the internet what I did the night before because you never know who's reading anymore. The biggest change of all though being that I no longer rattle on in broken sentences about nothing.

I will however say that I've grown up so much. I know I've been going on about the most dreary kak imaginable these days. I hate the word's that seem to find their way onto my screen like little black letter-locusts but all of that comes with age. My cynicism is not without it's merits. I think some of my best understanding has come from it. I've become one to sit back and watch. I've learnt to enjoy both misery and happiness, all on the same spoon. Basically what the last few months of posts have been, are the musings of a broken heart. There wont be that many light hearted cherub noise and the sickeningly glossy words of someone floating on a cloud of euphoria because I'm just barely hovering off the ground. Luckily it isn't as bad as the last few sentences may make it sound. The puzzle pieces are coming together. I'm working with the strings that make this puppet work and those silly little ''What ups" I used to write are busy formulating in my head...
Sent from my BlackBerry®