These past couple of days I've been in deep thought. I finally hit the year mark of being single, a big deal to me because I was in a relationship for so long that it just became a blur of time and effort, one that eventually was just too taxing on me. After a good year back in the game, I've come to learn a lot.
There are two types of people out there in this world of romantic notions and feels. There are those that take what they're doing seriously. They bother to take the time to experience something with someone, building it over time and making a success of it. Then there are the characters who just mash through the motions, going in blindly just because they want momentary fulfillment that won't leave any lasting impression on them. When it comes to relationships, I like to think I'm the first one. I like for something to count. It takes me a while to warm up to someone in that way and once I have, it becomes hard to break that. I don't like for things to not have a meaning. When it comes to casual liaisons, I'm not going to fall in love with you or anything. If we're hooking up, once or twice, I'm not gonna catch feels. It's not often where I've looked back over the last year and thought I genuinely liked someone enough to try pursue something more serious with them. Of course there have been some, but it isn't often.
What really grinds my gears though these days are Serial Daters. We all know the type. People who will hop from one relationship to another, almost weekly with the kind of time gap in between each one that would have trouble separating molecules. These kinds of people honestly just rub me up the wrong way. Lately I've been noticing a trend of these weekend daters that come up, be all into the relationship vibe with someone and next thing you know they're off with someone else. Siff. I don't know if it's because I've had to deal with people like that in my life or if it's just because I think it's actually not a bad thing to care about yourself but I really take that kind of thing personally. You really have a tough time treating yourself well. I've come to find myself since I became single. I had a good, clean break into the wild and came back a man with an insatiable love and appreciation for what he has. I found strength in me, something no one else could ever give you so when I see people that jump from here to there, I feel sorry for them. To me, I think it's a weakness. How can you say you love this person and then go love that person a few days later? That's not true. You're just playing with people's emotions. One person in that union is going to take that thing seriously and they're gonna have their feelings hurt because they believed what you told them, holding onto your false words till they hurt like a burning candle. If you're gonna do that, rather just stay single, honestly. If you're gonna mess people over, at least give them the decency of No Strings Attached.
Serial Daters are no better than people who go out hooking up with different people every week. They like to hide behind the fact that they're in a "Committed Relationship" so it's different. It's not though. No one is fooled. I'm sorry but no one buys into all that once we've seen you giving 5 minutes to just about everyone. You're just like the rest of us, only what you're doing is more acceptable to be put up onto social networks. I was on Facebook just now and I came across at least 6 examples. People whose actions just really grinded my gears. Just last month you posted up pictures with your boyfriend and now you have a new one and he's up there too. Are we now meant to forget that the other thing happened? Do we skip the folder completely? You were with this girl for a long time and then all of a beeswax it ended and started up again almost every fortnight but we're meant to forget all that because she's not the current header on your profile? Please. Why can't we just find some chill?
I wish I knew what the thinking behind all of that was though. Like, what makes someone do things like that? Is it fear, a large ego, a need to belong, insecurities? What is it? I personally think that it is a form of weakness. Not being comfortable enough with yourself for you to be able to stand on your own two feet, not being able to appreciate yourself. Learn to love yourself without having to seek the affirmation of others. I'm not saying become an arrogant dick or anything, I'm just saying that these days, so many people feel like they have to be liked so much that they'll end up losing themselves just to get a nod in their direction. How does that make you feel at the end of the day? I've genuinely only liked two people and just that in itself was so taxing on me, I can't even begin to imagine how you feel after a string of lesser paramores. I think the most attractive quality a woman can have is self assurance. I love someone who as confidence in themselves. I made the mistake of letting one such woman slip through my hands because I was too busy chasing a fantasy about a bygone love that was never going to make the cut after that and I kick myself on the side of the head every day because of it.
I'm not going to dwell on that, it's over now but I just think that a lot of people these days actually need to stop and think about what kind of image they're putting out there, especially when it comes to relationships and things like that. I feel nothing for someone who has a broken heart more than three times in six months, if anything, you deserve it. I know I'll probably strike a nerve somewhere, I'm bound to, and if I have, please feel free to explain to me just how all of this works. Maybe I have it wrong. Maybe it's all about that way of life now, I could be very outdated. Fill me in, let's hear it but until then, I'll just carry on thinking you're a bunch of idiots.
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