Basically we suck.

I worked it out the other day. I'm working with the relegation side. I'm working with the team that no one wants. The useless bottom of the log rubbish that can't keep a clean sheet or score a goal to save their lives. In soccer terms, I'm basically the Van Persie of what Arsenal were at Old Trafford. I'm part of a team with the effectiveness of cat crap. I hate having to admit to working with those I do. I hate how we're judged as one unit, one failing unit when it feels like I'm the only one doing anything.

Basically I work with Hitler and Himmler. Two very cruel people who thi
nk I'm their lap dog. I got so bummed when I realized I was working with the bottom of the log team and it annoys me how they don't see it. I'm flipping competitive and all I wanted was to be in the shop that beat the other one, whether it's in sales or just general running of the place but no, that's not the case. I'm basically stuck with two people who have an allergy to any form of work and a bitter distaste for anyone they see doing it, mainly me. Hitler seems to think that she's a better manager than the other lady, its crazy. I was very tired today and not in any mood to take crap and so I kept quiet as usual and mostly to myself and luckily I wasn't picked on that much. I think Hitler can tell I'm quite done with her crap. I've honestly had it with being picked on for everything and for picking up their slack. Today she was asleep on the chair behind the rails where no one can see, while there were many dishevelled clotes around. That annoyed me cuz I knew she wouldn't do anything about it. Himmler is the same, she sat on a chair pretty much all day, not stopping to think that she should also help out. I love it when I get sent up to the warehouse with a message cuz for a brief moment I'm away from those soul eating character wastes. I seriously have a black, bitter dislike for them, I'm really ashamed of it cuz you shouldn't really hate people but each time I try bring out the olive branch, they just use it to whip me on the back with it. It really is hard to try keep cheerful when they're breathing down your neck like that and now that there is less to do, there is nothing to keep me occupied and not much backed up work I could hide away in. I'm basically just there now to prove to myself that I can keep at something without bailing out after a short while, I'm proving a point. I'm no longer happy about having to wake up and go to work, the excitement has faded because it's not an environment I enjoy anymore. I'm basically just there waiting for the next thing I can be blamed for. I'm seriously fed up.

To get to top flight shop keeping, we need a squad rethink. The whole place has to be turned upside down, the manager has to rethink his tactics and look into the transfer market. I don't like to be on the losing team.

Glitch in the Matrix

So today I'm on my way home, walking along the street when I notice this delivery fan parked on the side of the road. It's nothing special or anything, just a bakery delivery van and I'm sure it's there all the time but today I made a point of noticing it. Anyway I carry on walking and I go into a shop, a few minutes later I come out and as I walk a few meters further on, I see the same van parked ahead of me. So now I'm like, "Ah, Deja Vu" but then I remembered something important, deja vu only happens when there's a glitch in the matrix. A glitch in the matrix, or the world we think we live in until we're unplugged, is when the computers that run us decide to change something with the program.

So now I'm walking along looking out for things that are outta the ordinary. First I notice the doors to the Moon Hotel were opened, the man who sells batteries everyday come rain or shine is now suddenly missing and the huge thing, the one thing I'm sure that was it, was that Armadillo Skins was back. I hadn't seen her in about 9 working days which is a flipping long time. I'd written her off completely, she'd left me high and dry and now she suddenly decided to return? What really annoyed me was that today was the one day I'd decided not to wear clodgers so I couldn't even impress her and make her beg me to take her back. I know she came back because she missed me, I could tell by the way she looked up when she saw me and that knowing smile but I was as cold as ice, a hear broken figure of my former self. I'm sure she was hoping to continue where we left off, me sitting besides her, looking out the window as if I was uninterested and her sitting staring straight ahead but both deep in tremulous thought. I bet she was hoping I'd notice her new jeans or the detailing on her yellow top or the fact that she didn't have her usual cover on her phone and that she'd changed her hairstyle and was using different clips to keep it all in tact. Well sorry for her but I didn't.

I'm stronger now, different, more mature. I wear clodgers now and I've had to endure so long without her that I barely noticed the giddy relief I felt. It'll take a lot more to win me over than a silly glitch.

Making Another Living

So today the boss came in. I could tell that he was coming in because there was a sudden flurry of activity that I'd never seen before. Seems like they were tipped off so they were cleaning racks and dusting around the shop, something that should be done all the time but is only done when they're actually told to. I was quite surprised at all this hard work till I found out much later what was going on and to be honest I was quite disappointed, I don't see why its so hard to do that everyday, it would be less of a job if it was maintained. I've tried myself but I got crucified to the point where I just gave up. I've been in the back going through the stock, I counted and out of the 9 or 10 so boxes we got yesterday, my counter part did 3 maximum in the time it took me to do the rest because she took lengthy mxit breaks and numerous long walks on the beach.

So anyway uVaughan came in and was in the back where I was and was asking why the summer stock wasn't on the rails and he was spun some useless story that we were still trying to get through these new boxes and we would continue with it. We've had over a flipping month and no matter how many times I asked when we were gonna get the old stuff moved, it still just sat there staring at me. So finally we get onto it but when I say we, I mean I'm working my asshole off getting these things down and packed whilst everyone is out on the floor laughing at how they were able to look busy enough till uVaughan came and left. So this lady just sits watching me work and says, "Just watching you do that is making me tired, I think I'll start tomorrow. " Like come on, why not just get on with it and flipping help me instead of asking me if it can be possible to love someone over mxit and I'm honestly not going to buy your flipping child clothes, I'm close to taking your face off and feeding it to mules.

"You know what I could use right now? A bed" WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE? You basically lifted a pair of pants and now you're tired? I was taught never to hate but my word...

Cry Wolf

I don't like it. I don't know why but it really bothers me. I've obviously grown soft because not too long ago I did something exactly like that. It may be the fact that I'm not the one in question or I may have grown suddenly soft in the core but it just doesn't sit well with me. I can't picture myself going out and doing that, especially openly to the jeering looks and sniggers of the general populace. Like imagine if I went and played around with Hamster meat?

Ok no I'm being a hypocrite because not so long ago I went and was lead astray. I ended up dating her but I mean it doesn't take away from the fact that it happened. Now I know exactly what happened, why it happened and really I'm not gonna be righteous and say it was wrong, well it was, but I'm not passing judgement. I think what really bothers me is that if it were me and I'd put up such huge efforts to go on and win the hearts of the public, then I'd make a point of keeping up the rep. I think that's one thing we're able to do, we're able to keep up appearances but really there' s a lot of vile crap going on behind closed doors.

That is just a little bit of what's been gnawing at my brain lately. I don't like my head, I don't like all these things suddenly being thrown at me that I have to deal with. You know, just random crap that comes out of the blue and then all of a suddem you're left gasping for air like a fish on a work bench. As exciting as things may be, I'm too old and too soft at the moment to be dealing with it. I think the times of old are long gone. There won't be a time where I'm seen with someone else without it raising concerns and comments. The freedom one once had has evaporated, there is a massive mismanagement of trust going on now days with us children and really we're the ones to blame.

There are gonna be a lot of bitter disappointments not too far from now and I'm sire as hell not getting involved in all that crap, I wear clodgers now, I don't care.

A glimpse into us

Novelism is my new calling.

I've decided that I'm going to release a book. It's not gonna be anything too special, it'll just be the greatest work of literacy this world has ever come to be blessed with. It will contain in it the answer to the most puzzling question in the world, it will have the answer to the meaning of life.

I was unaware as to just how much this world needs a book written by me until I'd actually gone and started writing it. The Chilling Spine Cord is the name I've schosen for it. It may make no sense and may have a supposed spelling error in the name but the thing is, most people won't even realize that when reading or saying the name and that goes to demonstrate a point I made a while ago that as an author, you can write anything and every person who reads it will interpret it in a different way. I'm not writing a story book to make everyone feel nice and fuzzy inside and it won't be a book to break you down either, it will flipping destroy your senses and sell them on the black market as ash trays to wealthy japanese businessmen.

I'm sure it'll be the begining of a series of books that I'll be making, a body of work that encapsulates the human psyche and brings it out in a way where it comes out unfiltered and as raw as it looks like inside our heads before we put our mental blinders on.

Someone will cry reading this book.

disclaimer

This gripping tale, this mind bending novel, has been written for the super intellectuals. This book is for the sorta people that understand the term, "Elk is moose backwards". This book has been written with no thought for those unable to use their brains in the sorta ways needed to garner up the levels of understanding only super computers are able to push out. All characters in this book were probably not based on anyone, I'm pretty sure I didn't do that intentionally although there may be similarities to people in real life. If you feel like it could be a reference or based on you then you're lying and just wanna feel special unless I said it was based on you then you're in luck, you're in a book.

This book is not meant to be duplicated unless obviously it was being printed to be published, then its ok. You can do orals and book studies on this book, its a real book so its chilled. Enjoy reading it. Read it to your kids, they'll grow up to be geniuses.

making a living

So I'm sitting here on this spinny chair, the perfect vantage point to look out for customers milling around, it also puts me close to the tills so I'm right there when they need me.

Today I've basically worked alone. The only time a customer was checked out by someone that wasn't me was when I was having my lunch. There was an attempted robbery on a factory just up the road from us and it must've scared the ladies or something cuz they've been hiding in the back of the shop where they can see when someone walks in but you can't see them, the perfect place to hide from would-be criminals and your boss if he thought about stopping by. It was the same thing last week saturday and nearly everyday since I've been here unless we get new stock, then it kinda looks like work is going on but really it's just me doing six boxes to their onee or something like that. The other day this lady got really lucky, she got to use our toilet and a 20% discount on clothes. After realizing she hadn't won any competition or anything, I figured out that she was just another of their many friends that drop by at various points. Danny the security guy is the only one I can say has done any consistent work since I've met him.

I'm turning into a Till God at this rate.
I love it when customers pay with the exact amount, especially in small notes cuz then we dont have to say goodbye to any money and we get change at the same time. I like friendly customers too. On Saturday I made at least 11 new friends and they were all just so nice. Today, not so much.