Face time usually involves doing shopping, having little lunch dates, hanging out with a group of friends and most importantly and rather annoyingly, meeting and socialising with the family. Ask any guy and they'll tell you right now that the first couple of meetings with people from her world are always the most awkward moments of life. I've heard some truly horrific stories ranging from having to spend most of the day trimming hedges with the man of the house to nearly being kicked out for absent mindedly making anti-semetic remarks. I don't think people actually realise how hard it is being a guy and having to meet the people she associates with. As a guy, you're the character that, at first, is always looked at as being the one to who's trying to steal the poor girl's innocence. You need to be both funny and charming and know everything about sports and what new colours are in next summer and whether on not oil on a 1985 model Ford should be changed every three months and how to create a perfect crab dinner. You have to come in there guns blazing with every kind of right answer and perfect gesture because one small slip up can lead to years of miserable hours forced down the line.
On Saturday I went to hang out with The Face in her little world. I was a little apprehensive at first because I'm generally not so great in environments I don't know a lot about. I was at a party the night before and had a flipping late night and an unbelievably early morning so I wasn't feeling too fresh. I got there and the very first thing I did, as I usually do, is I made friends with the dog. Now I must be honest and say I love me a good pooch. I can't not have a little interaction with a dog when I come across one, I dig those homies. As I walked in the gate, the dog and I played around a bit and then as the gate was closing, the little dick decided to bolt out and make a dash for it. So now I'm running out the gate calling this thing and it decides to be an even bigger asshole and jumps through the fence and into the adjacent complex. There stands me at the fence, calling to this thing that's laughing at me and this vision in my mind of me being the dick that lost the dog. This little prick doesn't quite get that I'm trying to make a good impression here. I'm trying real hard this time to actually be normal and now you're going and ruining things before they've even begun. Luckily, no one liked that dog and I could get on with trying to be normal.
All in all it actually wasn't a bad time at all. I can't really say I remember much of the names that I was told or every single detail to the day except that I was feeling a little desire to engage in some lip locking but for the most part it was decent. I met a little boy who winks smoother than double cream and is probably fuelled on the energy only found in the middle of a Cornetto. If I could be half that slick, I'd die a happy man.
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