So I've officially started school. I'm back into the education system and I'm now facing a whole new set of challenges which aren't too scary but they're intimidating nonetheless.
When I say intimidating what I really mean is that at the moment I don't have any idea where I stand at all so I have no way to evaluate myself. I feel and am pretty certain that I am firing a million leagues below par which for me is just not right. I'm frustrated. I know it's early days and this will be a much harder challenge than I had first believed but I know for a fact I can do it, I'm not doubting the fact I can, I'm just not sure when I'll finally get there. I'm feeling a lot like Fernando Torres. So much riding on this, eyes all over and you gotta perform or else you look silly and people start to wonder if you're worth your £50 million price tag. I know I am. I know I can pull back a few epic goals but right now I'm firing unbelievable misses. I know this is all a bit silly to say after only two days but I'm just not happy.
I must say though, the place isn't bad. I know of a lot of the people there, many I've seen on one night or another. They're a nice little eclectic mix of characters. Yeah it's not what I'm used to and at the moment I'm not the best person to be around a mix of different things going on but it's not so bad. I'm still in my phase where I sit back in the background and observe all the people around me but today I found I was adding my own two cents which surprised me, I guess the place has a way of sucking you out a lot faster than one would think.
I still don't know just what's going on, I'm basically just going with the flow and going through the motions till I see some form of structure, or get used to the fact there isn't and build my own which I undoubtedly will most likely have to do. I see nothing wrong with that, I just wish the cobwebs in my head would clear out.
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