So going through my playlist and I once again realize Im such a morbid soul.
Im busy having a listen here and 'I Want You' by The Kooks comes on and I realize how kinda down it is so the next song comes on, 'Lonely Day' by System Of a Down, not the happiest song around.
In my song list, a huge number of these are morbid in some way:
All Around me - Flyleaf.
Arm Yourself - Z&G.
God's Bathroom - Atmosphere.
Biko - Bloc Party.
Haha ah the song I love the most, Black Crow - Z&G.
Bleed Me Out - Z&G.
Blinding - Florence and the Machine.
Skeleton - Bloc Party.
Blue Light - Bloc Party.
Chop Suey - System of a Down.
Cover My Eyes - La Roux, stupid song was the death of me once.
Diamonds Into The Landmine and every other Billy Talent song.
In fact, every Z&G song and a large number of Bloc Party, Editors, Blue October, Flyleaf and Papa Roach.
Happy songs are great when you're in the car going somewhere and they're playing loud on the radio but you just cant fall asleep to them. I find it hard to sleep without listenin to music and these little downers really get the eyes shutting, sometimes they stir the emotions and make with the seething rage or useless moping but most times they just put me to sleep. Bleed Me Out is on now. What kind of lyrics are "Dont bleed me out and take my soul. Bleed me out into the cold. Bleed me out and take my life." and "You got it all so why take me. You wanted more than I could be. We've hit the wall still trying to wake your lazy eye. But this is more, I wont fall without a fight."
I love this Greg fellow, sure those are suspect sounding words but they make me giggle cuz I always sing them loud and proud each time, strange cat that. I'll repeat it cuz I happen to like it alot and because I actually want some sleep tonight for a change.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Basic elements may confuse
One day, maybe not today, probably in years to come, I'd like to be mature. It wont happen over night but I think that Im on the path to getting to the point where I look at my current situations and think, "Yeah that was a mature way to handle it, whatup".
You ever tried playing with fire? Its dangerous. One minute you could be laying there on the floor watching a deo can sit inside a flame and next thing you know there could be flame lapping at the very foundations of where you lay your head to sleep. Its all such a tricky thing. You think you have it under control and then bam its all up in flames and sometimes you're able to get it down, you're able to put it out and its only just a little whimper and that gives you a fake confidence, a confidence that says well if it were to happen next time you could handle it but really, one of these days those flames are just gonna be a bit too hot and a bit too fast for you to put out and you're gonna burn ekse, you're just gonna be engulfed by those orange devils and as you helplessly burn you'll think "It said 'caution flammable' and yet here I am".
The natural alternative to fire is ice. So sure it doesn't turn you into ashes and charcoal. Ice is kinda safe I guess, it keeps you preserved in a sense. You know that if you park off there you'll stay intact, many years from now people will come across you still preserved whole and once you thaw out you'll realize you've pretty much missed out on a whole life time.
Both fire and ice will kill you, there is no way around that but which is more exciting? They say the only way to fight fire is with fire but what if you just dont have it in you to spark a flame, a bit cold? Ice is a solid and pretty simple in its make up but hard to keep that way when you're also a bit too warm.
The best alternative is water. Its hot ice or cold fire in a sense. Everyone loves water, it keeps you satisfied, you can heat it up or you can cool it down. You can really work with it but push too much and it'll evaporate or it'll freeze over. You really cant please the elements can you?
You ever tried playing with fire? Its dangerous. One minute you could be laying there on the floor watching a deo can sit inside a flame and next thing you know there could be flame lapping at the very foundations of where you lay your head to sleep. Its all such a tricky thing. You think you have it under control and then bam its all up in flames and sometimes you're able to get it down, you're able to put it out and its only just a little whimper and that gives you a fake confidence, a confidence that says well if it were to happen next time you could handle it but really, one of these days those flames are just gonna be a bit too hot and a bit too fast for you to put out and you're gonna burn ekse, you're just gonna be engulfed by those orange devils and as you helplessly burn you'll think "It said 'caution flammable' and yet here I am".
The natural alternative to fire is ice. So sure it doesn't turn you into ashes and charcoal. Ice is kinda safe I guess, it keeps you preserved in a sense. You know that if you park off there you'll stay intact, many years from now people will come across you still preserved whole and once you thaw out you'll realize you've pretty much missed out on a whole life time.
Both fire and ice will kill you, there is no way around that but which is more exciting? They say the only way to fight fire is with fire but what if you just dont have it in you to spark a flame, a bit cold? Ice is a solid and pretty simple in its make up but hard to keep that way when you're also a bit too warm.
The best alternative is water. Its hot ice or cold fire in a sense. Everyone loves water, it keeps you satisfied, you can heat it up or you can cool it down. You can really work with it but push too much and it'll evaporate or it'll freeze over. You really cant please the elements can you?
Thursday, January 27, 2011
Maybe Hender was onto something
Haha ah Im watching Jersey Shore as I write this, WTF?!
Ok so this program has no point besides showing people gettin drunk, swearing alot and then either having sex or getting into fights. See Im all for those things, especially when its a bunch of randoms but come on, if you're mates then whats the point? You can drink together and hook up but its funny when they suddenly start knocking each other.
So the story goes that some girl made up crap about what the other said on the phone and they confronted each other and came to blows, the one guy got annoyed and pushed his mate and thats it. So now what makes me laugh is that the girls make such a big deal of it. They aren't talking, they're making a mountain of a mole hill and its major drama and the guys are chilled with each other, they pulled off to the side and talked it out.
Girls are stupid when it comes to that. If they are wrong, you're the one who's wrong and if they're right, you'll most definately be told that you're wrong, no word of lie. So there lies the difference. Girls seem to take things so seriously, like the end of the world comes when their next situation is up and may god help you if you call them up on it. Haha ah we like them though because even if they're actually the ones driven by ego, we need their stupidity.
Ok so this program has no point besides showing people gettin drunk, swearing alot and then either having sex or getting into fights. See Im all for those things, especially when its a bunch of randoms but come on, if you're mates then whats the point? You can drink together and hook up but its funny when they suddenly start knocking each other.
So the story goes that some girl made up crap about what the other said on the phone and they confronted each other and came to blows, the one guy got annoyed and pushed his mate and thats it. So now what makes me laugh is that the girls make such a big deal of it. They aren't talking, they're making a mountain of a mole hill and its major drama and the guys are chilled with each other, they pulled off to the side and talked it out.
Girls are stupid when it comes to that. If they are wrong, you're the one who's wrong and if they're right, you'll most definately be told that you're wrong, no word of lie. So there lies the difference. Girls seem to take things so seriously, like the end of the world comes when their next situation is up and may god help you if you call them up on it. Haha ah we like them though because even if they're actually the ones driven by ego, we need their stupidity.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Lie Lie Lie
Its said that to have a healthy relationship, all you have to do is lie. Now that I've been in one for longer than two moons, I think I've gotten a handle on it.
Its so easy to lie, its kinda built up in the male brain, its an easy way to avert an unpleasant situation and its a good way to spare someones feelings and sometimes its not lying but its actually joking. You cant lie about somethings though, that I forbid.
If my girlfriend calls me up and asks what we're doing tonight and I dont want to say "Babe Im going out with the guys tonight. We'll be surrounded by girls, we're going to a strip club and I will get a lap dance that will probably lead to something else and because of that I'll catch an STD but thats ok because I wont see you for two weeks and by then it'll be sorted" I can just easily make up an excuse and say I have no network or if I want to be somewhat truthful I can always say Im just chilling with the guys. That part isn't so bad because I would be mixing a bit of truth with a bit of a lie but I've lied to her before.
Girls like to ask this question, it seems stupid to the male mind. Its actually a clever question to ask because in most cases it gives you some sort of leverage or something to work with but girls will wait for after you've shared a "cute" little moment and you're together and she's lyin in your arms and looks up at you and says "What's on your mind?". I actually fear it because once you've processed what is being asked of you, you have three options. Either tell her the truth, risk looking like a fool and ruining the moment, tell her what she wants to hear like "Im thinkin about you" and that WILL be followed by her asking "what are you thinkin about me" which WILL force you to lie, or you can be safe as houses and just say you aren't thinkin about much.
I remember being in that situation. She did everything according to the text book and asked that question and in that second it took me to answer, all those things ran through my mind. In actual fact just in case you were wondering, I was thinkin about a song and how it is someone goes about writing something that could become a hit. The second time you asked, I was wondering what it would be like to trip a greyhound running at 70km/h, would it break its legs or something or would it fall on its face, die, and then crap its guts out? These are all legit thoughts but because of the situation and the person askin the question, they cant be told so the best option is to be safe as houses.
Never ever try asking that question though. I remember asking my girlfriend what was on her mind and I've never felt more queer than that. It sounds so foreign for a guy to try use that technique, like you're the girl in the relationship and you may as well be in the kitchen making pie. I cringed after that and vowed never to try it again, not because I dont care whats on her mind but I'd rather do it in a clever, less obvious way.
I lied to her today. She asked me about something she felt she was so certain of and at first I didnt have the guts to break her little world and I was like yes you've figured it out, he is the one who does those things but then I thought about it and if I'd said Alimundi had become some writing genius, she'd probably ask him about it and he'd be like wtfudge and she'd look silly for believing my lie so I had to be truthful and tell her, but not tell her who 'he' actually is, but tell her that 'he' is definately not him. Haha ah she's cute when she thinks she's gotten onto something. She gets that air of valiant victory and anything you say will not take away her moment of triumph. How do you not find that cute, its like a toddler comin to you after learnin to tie their shoelace and you can see that they've only just tied a knot but they're so proud of their mangled laces that you just smile and go along with it.
So yes babe, Ben has magically learnt to work a computer and has become a fantastic scribe and is the author of my favourite blog even though the words I like the most are the ones I say myself?...
Its so easy to lie, its kinda built up in the male brain, its an easy way to avert an unpleasant situation and its a good way to spare someones feelings and sometimes its not lying but its actually joking. You cant lie about somethings though, that I forbid.
If my girlfriend calls me up and asks what we're doing tonight and I dont want to say "Babe Im going out with the guys tonight. We'll be surrounded by girls, we're going to a strip club and I will get a lap dance that will probably lead to something else and because of that I'll catch an STD but thats ok because I wont see you for two weeks and by then it'll be sorted" I can just easily make up an excuse and say I have no network or if I want to be somewhat truthful I can always say Im just chilling with the guys. That part isn't so bad because I would be mixing a bit of truth with a bit of a lie but I've lied to her before.
Girls like to ask this question, it seems stupid to the male mind. Its actually a clever question to ask because in most cases it gives you some sort of leverage or something to work with but girls will wait for after you've shared a "cute" little moment and you're together and she's lyin in your arms and looks up at you and says "What's on your mind?". I actually fear it because once you've processed what is being asked of you, you have three options. Either tell her the truth, risk looking like a fool and ruining the moment, tell her what she wants to hear like "Im thinkin about you" and that WILL be followed by her asking "what are you thinkin about me" which WILL force you to lie, or you can be safe as houses and just say you aren't thinkin about much.
I remember being in that situation. She did everything according to the text book and asked that question and in that second it took me to answer, all those things ran through my mind. In actual fact just in case you were wondering, I was thinkin about a song and how it is someone goes about writing something that could become a hit. The second time you asked, I was wondering what it would be like to trip a greyhound running at 70km/h, would it break its legs or something or would it fall on its face, die, and then crap its guts out? These are all legit thoughts but because of the situation and the person askin the question, they cant be told so the best option is to be safe as houses.
Never ever try asking that question though. I remember asking my girlfriend what was on her mind and I've never felt more queer than that. It sounds so foreign for a guy to try use that technique, like you're the girl in the relationship and you may as well be in the kitchen making pie. I cringed after that and vowed never to try it again, not because I dont care whats on her mind but I'd rather do it in a clever, less obvious way.
I lied to her today. She asked me about something she felt she was so certain of and at first I didnt have the guts to break her little world and I was like yes you've figured it out, he is the one who does those things but then I thought about it and if I'd said Alimundi had become some writing genius, she'd probably ask him about it and he'd be like wtfudge and she'd look silly for believing my lie so I had to be truthful and tell her, but not tell her who 'he' actually is, but tell her that 'he' is definately not him. Haha ah she's cute when she thinks she's gotten onto something. She gets that air of valiant victory and anything you say will not take away her moment of triumph. How do you not find that cute, its like a toddler comin to you after learnin to tie their shoelace and you can see that they've only just tied a knot but they're so proud of their mangled laces that you just smile and go along with it.
So yes babe, Ben has magically learnt to work a computer and has become a fantastic scribe and is the author of my favourite blog even though the words I like the most are the ones I say myself?...
Monday, January 24, 2011
Ok... We own The Reebok
I've had a crap day, no other way to put but ah the little things make it so much better...
Was feeling rather down and out today, minimal sleep, minimal success, really out of it and when I got home all I wanted to do was just crawl up into a ball and die but ah my darling, she went and brightened up my mood in such a huge way. Thank you love for that, really got me to stop being a bit of a baby and for you I wont become a coal miner. I also like the way you can read a paragraph with such ease.
The Reebok belongs to us. I haven't seen Chelsea play like this since early in the season and its about time. Thats another factor thats gone to liftin me up a little higher than where I was before. I love the taste of victory, it tastes so sweet.
3 o'clock on a monday morning
Im here lying in bed, I should be asleep. Any normal person would be out of it but not me, I've become a subject of my thoughts.
You come to mind. When I think of you, I think of you and I, I think of us.
I think of them, I think of him, I think of him and her, I think of her when she was with him, how she wanted so much from him when he was just himself.
I think her, I think of how even though she has no hold, she doesn't make you feel nice. But then I think of him, in some ways she is to you what he is to me in some cases although what I felt then has changed full circle to something else, there is some sorta resemblence. What annoys me is when its said they know how I feel about that. Maybe they know so points but really its alot more deep seeded than that. This here shall make me a better person in the end but for now it just feels so foreign.
Thats got me thinkin of them, sittin on the couch. Its got me thinkin of what they could've been, what they should've been and what they are now. I kinda wonder why it didnt play out but then I realize its exactly the same reason why all these other situations are like they are now.
I chuckle a bit as I think of him, the same him from just now but this time he's not with her. This time he is exactly what he was meant to be and all three of them had no clue. She on the one hand also wanted too much, he was willing to try, you cant fault him there but really its not enough. She wanted him in any way shape or form, acceptin him for what he gave out. Finally she came there with the thought of taking him and doing her will, little did she know that by doing so he would call her bluff and now she's lost face in my eyes anyway.
I also think of him. He who is a long sufferer to them. Plagued by their ways and yet since being free of her, has grown into something I admire. A beast of sorts on a mission, one where he has slain the demons from his past and I can only hope he carries on cuz its about time.
And now I think of her. Thanks to him I know what goes on. Him and I in that cupboard, he took a bullet for me that day, somethin I wont forget. I feel bad. I feel bad that under false pretences I now know what I wanted to know so long ago, all I want is to be told and yet it took such effort to get out what is so easy to say no matter the consequences that may follow. I know it means alot to me, maybe my actions weren't the right ones but now I have a trump card, its not easy trying to tame a dragon with some glowsticks. I guess in that we're so alike. So akin to each others thoughts that even when we're certain we still drag it out, not because we're stupid or anything but because we're driven by our egos. I like that.
Now Im thinkin about her, her and him. How he played a game so brilliant, so well thought out that she didnt know about what he did, neither did she and now if either were to really find out then Im more than positive he could worm his way out. A bit of a hero in my eyes but he chose the wrong subject.
I know this all makes no sense because this is what Im thinkin about but in actual fact it makes unbelievable sense. All of that is linked by one thing, crap I had the words but in basic form its all a big game. Its a game of wit and brain power, deceit and lies but its also about emotions, some thought and a bit of luck. To fully understand you'd have to be lying in bed at 3 in the morning kinda workin out the linking factor. We're generally not at a point where we can accept exactly what it is we're doing so we do what comes to mind and what comes to mind sometimes isn't the right thing.
So now I think of you again. Im thinkin about all this, all these thoughts, this theory and where in my mind you fit in. I chuckle again because its a scary place in this head. But the funny thing is, some people dont know about you and I. They say "I never expected that from you". And now Im thinkin about you and I speaking to her that night. She said something about how I said I wasn't sure what would happen if you weren't there because we'd spoken about it, she knew how I'd been before, she knew first hand what I could do with enough rope and yet after telling her how much I've been given, I think its safe to say she's suprised by what I've actually done with it. I can say now that you've taught me a thing or two. I know now about priorities and where my head is at in this game and for that I thank you. Haha now Im thinkin about my feelings for you. Thats for another post...
You come to mind. When I think of you, I think of you and I, I think of us.
I think of them, I think of him, I think of him and her, I think of her when she was with him, how she wanted so much from him when he was just himself.
I think her, I think of how even though she has no hold, she doesn't make you feel nice. But then I think of him, in some ways she is to you what he is to me in some cases although what I felt then has changed full circle to something else, there is some sorta resemblence. What annoys me is when its said they know how I feel about that. Maybe they know so points but really its alot more deep seeded than that. This here shall make me a better person in the end but for now it just feels so foreign.
Thats got me thinkin of them, sittin on the couch. Its got me thinkin of what they could've been, what they should've been and what they are now. I kinda wonder why it didnt play out but then I realize its exactly the same reason why all these other situations are like they are now.
I chuckle a bit as I think of him, the same him from just now but this time he's not with her. This time he is exactly what he was meant to be and all three of them had no clue. She on the one hand also wanted too much, he was willing to try, you cant fault him there but really its not enough. She wanted him in any way shape or form, acceptin him for what he gave out. Finally she came there with the thought of taking him and doing her will, little did she know that by doing so he would call her bluff and now she's lost face in my eyes anyway.
I also think of him. He who is a long sufferer to them. Plagued by their ways and yet since being free of her, has grown into something I admire. A beast of sorts on a mission, one where he has slain the demons from his past and I can only hope he carries on cuz its about time.
And now I think of her. Thanks to him I know what goes on. Him and I in that cupboard, he took a bullet for me that day, somethin I wont forget. I feel bad. I feel bad that under false pretences I now know what I wanted to know so long ago, all I want is to be told and yet it took such effort to get out what is so easy to say no matter the consequences that may follow. I know it means alot to me, maybe my actions weren't the right ones but now I have a trump card, its not easy trying to tame a dragon with some glowsticks. I guess in that we're so alike. So akin to each others thoughts that even when we're certain we still drag it out, not because we're stupid or anything but because we're driven by our egos. I like that.
Now Im thinkin about her, her and him. How he played a game so brilliant, so well thought out that she didnt know about what he did, neither did she and now if either were to really find out then Im more than positive he could worm his way out. A bit of a hero in my eyes but he chose the wrong subject.
I know this all makes no sense because this is what Im thinkin about but in actual fact it makes unbelievable sense. All of that is linked by one thing, crap I had the words but in basic form its all a big game. Its a game of wit and brain power, deceit and lies but its also about emotions, some thought and a bit of luck. To fully understand you'd have to be lying in bed at 3 in the morning kinda workin out the linking factor. We're generally not at a point where we can accept exactly what it is we're doing so we do what comes to mind and what comes to mind sometimes isn't the right thing.
So now I think of you again. Im thinkin about all this, all these thoughts, this theory and where in my mind you fit in. I chuckle again because its a scary place in this head. But the funny thing is, some people dont know about you and I. They say "I never expected that from you". And now Im thinkin about you and I speaking to her that night. She said something about how I said I wasn't sure what would happen if you weren't there because we'd spoken about it, she knew how I'd been before, she knew first hand what I could do with enough rope and yet after telling her how much I've been given, I think its safe to say she's suprised by what I've actually done with it. I can say now that you've taught me a thing or two. I know now about priorities and where my head is at in this game and for that I thank you. Haha now Im thinkin about my feelings for you. Thats for another post...
I haven't been watching Dragonball Z
Simple fact of the matter is that I haven't been keeping up with my viewing.
I understand holidays and weekends cuz Im with mates and its kinda strange going out to watch an episode and generally at that time all that really functions is being lazy and now that Im home, I told myself I'd get back into it but alas I still haven't. I can actually feel the change and its not for the better. I can barely even do a set anymore and now with school cropping up and the commitments of that, it'll be hard to try get back into the swing of things. The problem with it all is that I get super tired which is a given seeing that Im doing more than my usual ten meters, at one point I could do 15 but now I really think Im down to a low number like 7 or something. I used to be the worlds fastest 10 meter sprinter which is something huge to brag about, being the worlds fastest 7 meter sprinter? Yeah thats not so cool...
As of tomorrow I think if the day allows and I stop procrastinating I could get something done. I also haven't watched an actual episode of Dragonball Z, thats probably why?
I understand holidays and weekends cuz Im with mates and its kinda strange going out to watch an episode and generally at that time all that really functions is being lazy and now that Im home, I told myself I'd get back into it but alas I still haven't. I can actually feel the change and its not for the better. I can barely even do a set anymore and now with school cropping up and the commitments of that, it'll be hard to try get back into the swing of things. The problem with it all is that I get super tired which is a given seeing that Im doing more than my usual ten meters, at one point I could do 15 but now I really think Im down to a low number like 7 or something. I used to be the worlds fastest 10 meter sprinter which is something huge to brag about, being the worlds fastest 7 meter sprinter? Yeah thats not so cool...
As of tomorrow I think if the day allows and I stop procrastinating I could get something done. I also haven't watched an actual episode of Dragonball Z, thats probably why?
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Its like owning a plant. If you dont use it often it'll forget you and cause clutter in other people's homes
Im no blogging veteran, I haven't owned one for a year but I've seen many come and fall.
Its always a happy day when someone decides to join this world. You quickly type in their URL and you anxiously wait for their words to pop up on your screen and then you're either greeted by genius or some hack with a beard and a taste for twinkies...
Owning a blog is like having a girlfriend or a really nice pet. Its all fun and games in the begining, you wanna write down everything that happens and nothing is better than having your own little corner of the internet to write what you want but after a while, once the honeymoon period is over, thats when you see who the real bloggers are. In my list of blogs, there are a few I follow. My eternal sunshine or something like that, that girls thing:) and Greg's old blog, Greg's new one, all of those haven't lit up my screen in ages. My eternal serendipity did give me a little buzz a few days back but thats like trying to hold onto a storm in the desert. You gotta nurture these things, you gotta exercise their space, you gotta put up stuff I can read because Im really nosey.
I've also come to realize that there are many different kind of blogs, be it sports blogs, porn blogs, music blogs, picture blogs, car blogs. I can gladly say I've sampled them all in my little blog fascination but the ones that really stand out to me the most are the ones that mix it all. Mix up some naked girls driving cars sideways around goal posts whilst listening to some Hendrix and taking action photos and I swear you'll have the best blog on the internet, I would be a follower straight away.
I haven't posted regularily in recent months, I've had not much to say really but I think I may be coming back into form which is good now that I've hopefully offended a few people to stop being lazy nancies and use those phones you all so adore with there epic keypads and flashing LED lights, you bunch of lazy gits. Us cool people with our alphanumeric nokia keypads are doing just fine, but then again I cant speak for everyone when I say cool people, I am the only Chelsea supporter.
Its always a happy day when someone decides to join this world. You quickly type in their URL and you anxiously wait for their words to pop up on your screen and then you're either greeted by genius or some hack with a beard and a taste for twinkies...
Owning a blog is like having a girlfriend or a really nice pet. Its all fun and games in the begining, you wanna write down everything that happens and nothing is better than having your own little corner of the internet to write what you want but after a while, once the honeymoon period is over, thats when you see who the real bloggers are. In my list of blogs, there are a few I follow. My eternal sunshine or something like that, that girls thing:) and Greg's old blog, Greg's new one, all of those haven't lit up my screen in ages. My eternal serendipity did give me a little buzz a few days back but thats like trying to hold onto a storm in the desert. You gotta nurture these things, you gotta exercise their space, you gotta put up stuff I can read because Im really nosey.
I've also come to realize that there are many different kind of blogs, be it sports blogs, porn blogs, music blogs, picture blogs, car blogs. I can gladly say I've sampled them all in my little blog fascination but the ones that really stand out to me the most are the ones that mix it all. Mix up some naked girls driving cars sideways around goal posts whilst listening to some Hendrix and taking action photos and I swear you'll have the best blog on the internet, I would be a follower straight away.
I haven't posted regularily in recent months, I've had not much to say really but I think I may be coming back into form which is good now that I've hopefully offended a few people to stop being lazy nancies and use those phones you all so adore with there epic keypads and flashing LED lights, you bunch of lazy gits. Us cool people with our alphanumeric nokia keypads are doing just fine, but then again I cant speak for everyone when I say cool people, I am the only Chelsea supporter.
Saturday, January 22, 2011
Leeeeeeka mate Greg Carlin
I think Greg deleted me off myFace:'(
Im genuinely bleak right now like seriously. I went lookin up our past messages in my inbox and it said page could not be found so I looked him up in my friend list and he wasn't there and I tried searching for him and he was gone... I feel like shedding a tear right now.
Hahaha ah I know I didnt hound the guy but come on, to suddenly disappear? I was a devoted fan who didnt blur the line between appreciator of genius and some strange person who wants to sleep with him. He was one of those people you have when you're like "You see that guy on the tv, yeah I have him on my social networking site". The guy's from my flipping favourite SA band for heavens sake. He's no Kele Okereke but he was the next best thing, best male voice I've sampled in ages. Haha Im being a baby about this and I probably sound like some strange stalker with weird fixation, ah you see I said fixation and now look. But really the guy was almost something close to musical hero.
Im gonna have to reconsider that invite he sent me for that gig, how dare they expect me to come after my birthday now with this black cloud over my head? I think Z&G and I are taking a break until my heart is mended or Facebook says it was only joking. Gonna cry myself to sleep now, ok no I wont but still, Im still sad.
I know why he deleted me... It was that picture with Jack Parow. He saw that I was keen and misinterpreted that keenness and was scared that when we took a photo I wouldn't be able to do anything on that level, which is a lie because everyone knows as my best mate he'd get keenness of a whole level above Jack.
Collins learnt to lead a double life from me
So I've started using Twitter again.
Polished up my account, thought I'd have a squiz to see whats going on and funny enough I have real human followers and not the sex crazed perverts that send you links to their lewd websites. Both Jodie and Jodi follow me, got an aquatic sea mammal and I even have A_dog, thats right, A_dog...
As we all know A_dog has gone into hiding, no one knows where that homie is. Well it seems that He's the most active user on this twitter thing, having only posted a few hours ago and he has full on conversations with people. Kim posts pictures and occasionally says how much she loves me, Crofty and Ant are celebrities in my eyes now and Jenson and Lewis give me a whatup from time to time. Oh yes I forgot to mention that I follow both my mates, we need a way of pin pointin each other and its a helpful way, they know Im spending an evening at home, I know Lewis has been hiking and was at MTC and Jenson just went to watch that fancy french circus whom I dont feel like looking up for spelling. Greg also told me to get keen for the 9th, as if I wouldn't be keen to be trampled by groupies again and have my face on the internet.
Its tough being an undercover celeb when all my mates are such big names. They complain about how hard it is for them to not brag about me and I get it, I get that I make it hard for you guys. Im sorry I sometimes miss a race cuz I wanna hang out with my best mates and kick it with my girl sometimes. Im sorry I missed christmas in New York cuz I was out driving and I really hope that we can move on from me missing new years cuz I was knee deep in mud.
In my defense tho its not all my fault. I cant help I have nice little friends. Who else would make girls cry by saying they love them while you're in a cupboard? Who else would clean up your spilt bitter by sipping it straight off the carpet? Who else would put on a skate demo to a song we repeated over and over? Who else would try shove a cushion up the front of his shirt? Who else would start his own delivery company with a broken bike and an envelope and who else would remind me to be nice even tho its just some healthy boy talk?
Its hard being an undercover celeb but its worth it.
Polished up my account, thought I'd have a squiz to see whats going on and funny enough I have real human followers and not the sex crazed perverts that send you links to their lewd websites. Both Jodie and Jodi follow me, got an aquatic sea mammal and I even have A_dog, thats right, A_dog...
As we all know A_dog has gone into hiding, no one knows where that homie is. Well it seems that He's the most active user on this twitter thing, having only posted a few hours ago and he has full on conversations with people. Kim posts pictures and occasionally says how much she loves me, Crofty and Ant are celebrities in my eyes now and Jenson and Lewis give me a whatup from time to time. Oh yes I forgot to mention that I follow both my mates, we need a way of pin pointin each other and its a helpful way, they know Im spending an evening at home, I know Lewis has been hiking and was at MTC and Jenson just went to watch that fancy french circus whom I dont feel like looking up for spelling. Greg also told me to get keen for the 9th, as if I wouldn't be keen to be trampled by groupies again and have my face on the internet.
Its tough being an undercover celeb when all my mates are such big names. They complain about how hard it is for them to not brag about me and I get it, I get that I make it hard for you guys. Im sorry I sometimes miss a race cuz I wanna hang out with my best mates and kick it with my girl sometimes. Im sorry I missed christmas in New York cuz I was out driving and I really hope that we can move on from me missing new years cuz I was knee deep in mud.
In my defense tho its not all my fault. I cant help I have nice little friends. Who else would make girls cry by saying they love them while you're in a cupboard? Who else would clean up your spilt bitter by sipping it straight off the carpet? Who else would put on a skate demo to a song we repeated over and over? Who else would try shove a cushion up the front of his shirt? Who else would start his own delivery company with a broken bike and an envelope and who else would remind me to be nice even tho its just some healthy boy talk?
Its hard being an undercover celeb but its worth it.
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