Collins learnt to lead a double life from me

So I've started using Twitter again.

Polished up my account, thought I'd have a squiz to see whats going on and funny enough I have real human followers and not the sex crazed perverts that send you links to their lewd websites. Both Jodie and Jodi follow me, got an aquatic sea mammal and I even have A_dog, thats right, A_dog...

As we all know A_dog has gone into hiding, no one knows where that homie is. Well it seems that He's the most active user on this twitter thing, having only posted a few hours ago and he has full on conversations with people. Kim posts pictures and occasionally says how much she loves me, Crofty and Ant are celebrities in my eyes now and Jenson and Lewis give me a whatup from time to time. Oh yes I forgot to mention that I follow both my mates, we need a way of pin pointin each other and its a helpful way, they know Im spending an evening at home, I know Lewis has been hiking and was at MTC and Jenson just went to watch that fancy french circus whom I dont feel like looking up for spelling. Greg also told me to get keen for the 9th, as if I wouldn't be keen to be trampled by groupies again and have my face on the internet.

Its tough being an undercover celeb when all my mates are such big names. They complain about how hard it is for them to not brag about me and I get it, I get that I make it hard for you guys. Im sorry I sometimes miss a race cuz I wanna hang out with my best mates and kick it with my girl sometimes. Im sorry I missed christmas in New York cuz I was out driving and I really hope that we can move on from me missing new years cuz I was knee deep in mud.

In my defense tho its not all my fault. I cant help I have nice little friends. Who else would make girls cry by saying they love them while you're in a cupboard? Who else would clean up your spilt bitter by sipping it straight off the carpet? Who else would put on a skate demo to a song we repeated over and over? Who else would try shove a cushion up the front of his shirt? Who else would start his own delivery company with a broken bike and an envelope and who else would remind me to be nice even tho its just some healthy boy talk?

Its hard being an undercover celeb but its worth it.