Childhood dreams were a shambles

I remember my first encounter with the tooth fairy. I was in grade 1 and on the first night the stupid slag didnt rock up so I was pretty bleak, I hadn't told anyone I'd lost a tooth but I didnt think that was so important. On the second night tho I remember I scored a whole 12 bucks. Back in those days you could buy chappies for 10c I remember I spent a huge portion of my money on that. I only ever did the tooth thing once, I dont know why but after the first time it kinda lost its shine.

I remember my first encounter with Santa. I did the whole sitting on his lap and I got a remote controlled car and everything, I was amped but after that I remember how it didnt make sense because we didnt have a fire place so how did he rock up?

I didnt believe in the Easter Bunny. That I found hard to believe, how did a rabbit somehow create chocolate eggs?

Something I believed for a frikin long time tho I still remember was when my mom used to tell me that every christmas in the morning, the sun would dance and change colour. Thinking back now I can see that it was just a ploy to get us all up early so we could make the sunday service, I haven't been to one of those in about 4 years now? I remember trying to stay up all night one year and that would fail so I would try wake up early the next year and that would fail and the one time I actually pulled off waking up before the sun came up and I scoped it out and nothing happened, I was like wtf but my mom said that each time I wasn't looking it was actually doing it so for a few years after that I would keep trying. Now tho obviously I've come to realize that adults are all mean twisted liars who tell us this stuff, not because its fun for the children or anything but because we're only gonna get screwed over in the real world so why not taste disappointment at an early age. Thats why we get so gutted when we realize Santa isn't real and that the tooth fairy is a bunch of lies, I was never fond of the notion of it being a mouse tho because even as a child I had a huge thing against the minions of satan. If I ever have kids Im going to tell them heavy made up stories so everyone laughs at them and in turn they become better people and see fit to take over the world.