Monday, November 15, 2010

I know what is worse than death

So many things we fail to notice from day to day, just expecting them to always be there like it was etched in stone that their presence is one of lifes constants.

Toilet paper I've come to realize plays an integral part in human society. People complain about the electricity suddenly going off and they grumble when the water disappears but the silent killer, the one thing we never quite expect to miss is in fact the toilet paper. I am pressed to take a HUGE dump but being as weird as I am, I always check to see if there's enough loo roll before i take the kids to swimming and today there is absolutely nothing in every single bathroom and we dont have those paper towels in the kitchen either so I cant even make a plan. Its tough trying to hold in a poo because every single movement you make kinda pushes your bowels and makes them want to release so now I have to lie down as not to make any sudden movements or I'll crap myself.

The only joy in all this is that there is absolutely no food so i cant eat anything to make my poo tanks full. My mom got a blender a while back and since then every single food item in the house has been blended and turned into some sorta smoothie concoction that sits in the fridge and rots. Its not like you're mean to drink them or anything, they're just there because its the biggest load of fun to watch things get diced into little tiny pieces which make up some sorta crazy juice so now I must wait until the mother returns from her shopping so i can release my tanks and full them all up again with pureéd roast beef and baby back potatoes

No comments:

Post a Comment