Thursday, May 19, 2011

Im your P.R.O. (Public Relations Officer) but you're a PRO (Pregnant Retarded Ostrich)

I was just thinking about it now, I've done my fair share of talking for the benefit of others. I get asked often enough about certain creatures I hang about with and I always feel it is my duty to paint a positive picture no matter what.

Just the other night I was explaining to a girl how Haggard is the best thing thats ever happened to her best friend, how in him, happiness will abound and fairies and unicorns shall exist again. He hasn't let me down, have you seen his myFace profile picture? Ncaaaaw cute man:). I've also been the leaning post of all those little nippers that are in love with Scunthorpe and need guidance in their feelings and I listen and speak nothing but praises of this figure. I really sell my client when it comes to it. There is a satisfaction in knowing that your words have given a view to someone that you have fabricated, its probably how salesmen feel, knowing that the public see something the way you see it and want them to see it.

And then comes to that other guy...

You'd think being a blonde with blue eyes and huge muscles he'd be something the ladies would lap up in seconds but lately I've been very disappointed in what goes on. Girls have been saying the same thing, "He was nice at first but then it changed." These words make me sad because you see the thing is, not too long ago, females would flock to him, bringing him giftes of sweets and chips and T shirts and now I haven't heard of him jabbing his tongue down anyone's throat. I mean fair play to the boy he's slighty more attractive than a goat and its nothing more than a spot of bad luck but I know how to fix it.

See I've deduced that this here is like karma just giving a little warning to what it can do. Remember how he chased away the unattractive and unbelievably disfigured? How because of the heart break he faced in the winter of '05, he went and shattered the hearts of millions? Remember how he who was loved by Trisha, turned around and put her efforts, her heart, her openness to the dating market in the bin? He who coined 'Samuel' 'Asbintos' 'Walrus' 'Avatar' 'Beaven' 'Cheese' '12 year old', he is the one being haunted by these souls and now it lies upon me to fight the powers of karma to bring this injustice to light and to make sure we have our peace and we resume as normal. I honestly dont think it would do any harm if he went back and became mates with all of those he has killed in the past but I'd be very put off cuz that aint normal and frankly its not funny.

Which brings me to my point. I find it hilarious when girls say they aren't interested cuz we all know should he take a fancy then he will get them and make them cry, hence I still tell girls stories of his bravery and that once good nature he possessed. Its just really funny when they ask, "What happened to Ben? He would've made such a good boyfriend."

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