I don't do requests.

She told me to write her a post last night and I said no. After a few too many red wines and open conversation, she made the request and my better judgement said to decline. I didn't decline because I didn't know what to say. I know what to say. I have a lot to say. I have so much to say that I could start up a whole new blog that would carry on until after the nuclear apocalypse and thrive, till I became reborn as a mutant King Hawk. Basically, I said no because I just don't want to face up to all that. Once something becomes posted on this blog, it stays there forever. I will always have to read over it every time I come visit. I've posted things on here that make me cringe with what was said and the memories they bring back. It's on the internet so many people can see what I think and feel. I don't regret it, but I wouldn't have written most of them if I was of a sound mind at the time. It would basically give her everything she needs and leave me feeling like I'd just gone and left my wickets wide open. It's funny because once you start dealing with someone who makes the same moves you do, who thinks the way you do, who basically is you without the boyish good looks, you tend to be a lot more weary. I would think that if I found my female counter part, I'd grab her up quick fast and together we'd go about laying waste to all that we found faulted. Right now though, and I know I'm speaking way ahead of myself when I say this, but we're still trying to find a way to stay at arm's length from all of that. Everything I've said is basically just what the 'ideal' situation would be like. I've never been lucky enough to be in anything even considered to be ideal before, with anyone, and I doubt that this is about to be any different. I've taken a few knocks and gotten my stride back and she's still stumbling but on a fast track to recovery. When that time comes and if I'm still there, I'll be ready to take on the inevitabilities, hopefully in my stride.