I have this unbelievable hatred for everything LFC...
So my girlfriend tells me some random wrote on her. Thats fine I mean everyone writes on everyone, Haha I've written many a thing on many a person in my life time, haha... But you see the thing that got my blood boiling was that it was such DISGUSTING filth, on my GIRLFRIEND, WTF?!
I haven't been watching the Premier League long, its only my first season and when picking a team to support I had a few options. Be a sheep and follow United who are actually pretty good and thats why we hate them. I could follow Arsenal but that wouldn't be fun because I like a bit of competition and ribbing on match days with Kraus. I could support City who are quite good but I cant help feeling like they still haven't found their rhythm and until then they'll always choke or I could be a hero and go where my favourite player was in the form of Didier Drogba and support the champions, Chelsea. Obviously I was wise and chose Chelsea. I love winning. I've only recently discovered how competitive I am now that I've started watching soccer and I really get into it, sometimes I'll spend saturday, sunday and monday just watching every game thats on and it just fuels this other side of me that I thought was foreign. Sure we aren't winning so often anymore but with every sport I start supporting its always tough the first time round but I love it. Now with F1 off my screens till a coupla weeks time I've had to have something to keep me going and by jove it has.
In making my decision I NEVER EVER considered Liverpool. Im sorry but they're a bunch of uncouth hoodlums that go out and goose little children after a match. If you look at them you can just tell they're dodgey characters. Look at that tall guy with long hair who got a cut in the game today, if I saw that guy coming to me I would crawl up and die because I know he'd want to stick it in my glory hole. And look at Kuyt, he's flipping haggard and dont get me started on Skrtel. Dont get me wrong Im a huge fan of Steven Gerrad cuz we share the same nationality but the rest can go sit in a trench and feast on the rotting carcass of a whore honestly, and that Joe Cole is a frikin traitor and I never liked him much. Im glad Torres realized his mistake and came to play for us, he even actually looks somewhat human and if I was a pillow biter like most Liverpool supporters I would say he almost looks pretty, in a screwed up way.
When my dear girlfriend told me what FAECAL matter was written on her I was quite disappointed. I just wanted to get a blue marker and say "Go sit in that corner and colour yourself in and dont you dare THINK about going into the kitchen and making me PIE until you are clean".
I dont mind guys that support a crap team like that but once you rope a poor defenseless girl into it then its just not right. If Scunthorpe told the girl Kraus is madly in love with to support Spurs then I would say thats foul play, and vice versa. If you are attached to a person then by default they are in line with your views unless they too know something about the sport and can make a decision for themselves, then they can support whoever they want but no guy is ever blessed with a girl that speaks the same language as they do, we have to nurture them like the little precious flowers they are and watch them bud and grow into the sorta person we'd want to spend the night watching a game/race with over our mates.
One of these days I'll watch a Chelsea game with my girl, I look forward to that cuz after that I'll know whether I can stomach watching the game with her or if I keep watching it with my mates who have passed the test countless times.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
The world needs to get its priorities straight
So as Im sure we've all heard the terrible news. In fact personally Im pretty gutted. My heart is in a million pieces, I've never felt a pain so real before... They've gone and cancelled Bahrain.
I understand that as humans we dont see that whats most important to us is what we take for granted. I mean I used to take happiness for granted until I started doing things I love and now that those things aren't here then what is to become of me? I love F1, I've been looking forward to this race since the last race of last season. It would've been the perfect week for me, a week of celebrating birth and then a weekend full of tyre smoke and action. Honestly I was more amped on the race than I was on anything else, in the world but now its gone because there is a national sorta crisis in the poor country.
What hurts the most is that just two weeks ago everyone was making a huge deal out of Egypt. What the crap has Egypt done for us? They enslaved the jews, traded slaves, made paper so that we'd write at school and they fed children to crocodiles and also have stupid deserts, they cant even drive and they always beat our soccer team. Like really come on, who wants to walk around a desert being chased by crocodiles with only a piece of paper as protection?
If we could realize what's important. We, as the human race, would go out and stop this civil unrest thats stopping my race from happening, 527 odd million people depend on it. I dont know if you know that many people but I can tell you from personal experience that that is a lot of unhappy people.
New Orleans had a tiny storm, millions of monies were donated to help. An american tripped in Hiatus and more millions were donated. Artists wrote songs, journalists wrote stories, churches had cake sales and even someone put on a concert but because its something I hold dear, no one is bothered to even know whats going on.
4 to 6 people have been killed already, does anyone know why? No they dont. Does anyone know where Bahrain even is? No they dont. Do I know whats going on there? No I dont but that doesn't mean I cant complain about it. Ima write a song, bake some cookies, call up on OG OJ and DJ Krause and put on a concert. We'll have dancing girls and fire breathers and lots of streamers and there'll be some punch and in the corner we'll have a game of pin the tail on the donkey and everyone will be invited, except for the Egyptions.
I understand that as humans we dont see that whats most important to us is what we take for granted. I mean I used to take happiness for granted until I started doing things I love and now that those things aren't here then what is to become of me? I love F1, I've been looking forward to this race since the last race of last season. It would've been the perfect week for me, a week of celebrating birth and then a weekend full of tyre smoke and action. Honestly I was more amped on the race than I was on anything else, in the world but now its gone because there is a national sorta crisis in the poor country.
What hurts the most is that just two weeks ago everyone was making a huge deal out of Egypt. What the crap has Egypt done for us? They enslaved the jews, traded slaves, made paper so that we'd write at school and they fed children to crocodiles and also have stupid deserts, they cant even drive and they always beat our soccer team. Like really come on, who wants to walk around a desert being chased by crocodiles with only a piece of paper as protection?
If we could realize what's important. We, as the human race, would go out and stop this civil unrest thats stopping my race from happening, 527 odd million people depend on it. I dont know if you know that many people but I can tell you from personal experience that that is a lot of unhappy people.
New Orleans had a tiny storm, millions of monies were donated to help. An american tripped in Hiatus and more millions were donated. Artists wrote songs, journalists wrote stories, churches had cake sales and even someone put on a concert but because its something I hold dear, no one is bothered to even know whats going on.
4 to 6 people have been killed already, does anyone know why? No they dont. Does anyone know where Bahrain even is? No they dont. Do I know whats going on there? No I dont but that doesn't mean I cant complain about it. Ima write a song, bake some cookies, call up on OG OJ and DJ Krause and put on a concert. We'll have dancing girls and fire breathers and lots of streamers and there'll be some punch and in the corner we'll have a game of pin the tail on the donkey and everyone will be invited, except for the Egyptions.
Monday, February 21, 2011
We're in grade 7 but we aren't allowed in the Red Room
I remember how we used to look so forward to being in grade 7. All those privileges that we got, and then got taken away. We were the big shots so we could pretty much run things, it came with being the old dogs, it was expected of us.
Hahaha ah man it was always a scramble to get a couch. You'd sit there eating lunch with your friends and one day you'd rock up a little late and you'd find someone sitting on the couch you usually sit on and you're like "But I always sit there, um shouldn't it be obvious?". Those were good times because alot of crap was done there but then because of some stupid gits we got banned from parking there. Those silly people who hadn't hit puberty yet and still threw their sandwiches around while we were trying to sit with girls cuz we were cool like that and didnt play around when it was talking to girls time.
They took our Red Room away. Haha I cant really remember what we did after that but we found a new place to hang. We had alot of privileges taken from us and we always made do with something else somewhere, somehow we got them back but sometimes Im pretty sure they disappeared and if I think back now I dont think they were that missed.
I love how its easy to adapt to a situation. As humans we love a good thing and once its gone we either suffer or try to make a plan. I used to love System Of A Down but they went on a hiatus and then I got into Bloc Party. I sufferfed for a while but I found what I have now, had I not missed out on them, then I wouldn't be so into Bloc Party as I am now. I replaced something good with something better and thats what we always tend to do. You'll trade in your old car for something new, your old tv will break and you'll go out and get a better one, its all about progress. Like all those things aren't important but once you get used to something, sometimes its hard to adjust and you kinda wonder why you cant sit on your big comfy couch and eat your sandwiches if all you're doing is what you're meant to.
Hahaha ah man it was always a scramble to get a couch. You'd sit there eating lunch with your friends and one day you'd rock up a little late and you'd find someone sitting on the couch you usually sit on and you're like "But I always sit there, um shouldn't it be obvious?". Those were good times because alot of crap was done there but then because of some stupid gits we got banned from parking there. Those silly people who hadn't hit puberty yet and still threw their sandwiches around while we were trying to sit with girls cuz we were cool like that and didnt play around when it was talking to girls time.
They took our Red Room away. Haha I cant really remember what we did after that but we found a new place to hang. We had alot of privileges taken from us and we always made do with something else somewhere, somehow we got them back but sometimes Im pretty sure they disappeared and if I think back now I dont think they were that missed.
I love how its easy to adapt to a situation. As humans we love a good thing and once its gone we either suffer or try to make a plan. I used to love System Of A Down but they went on a hiatus and then I got into Bloc Party. I sufferfed for a while but I found what I have now, had I not missed out on them, then I wouldn't be so into Bloc Party as I am now. I replaced something good with something better and thats what we always tend to do. You'll trade in your old car for something new, your old tv will break and you'll go out and get a better one, its all about progress. Like all those things aren't important but once you get used to something, sometimes its hard to adjust and you kinda wonder why you cant sit on your big comfy couch and eat your sandwiches if all you're doing is what you're meant to.
Saturday, February 19, 2011
I get confused when Im kidnapped
Haha tonight was a night I needed.
Was laka seeing everyone minus the conhead tonight, I hear he's into making a name for himself with the schalkwyks. Good on him and his bravery. Finally had that beer I was craving. Ah I love the refreshing reward of a Carling at the end of the day, really does wonders for the ego.
Was meant to be a braai that thing but Im not sure if it stayed that way. I noticed an unhealthy amount of whispering going on, god knows what thats all about.
Im lying in bed and for a long while I thought I was in my own bed till I realized I was lying on the wrong side and there was an unhealthy amount of pillows on the bed. I only have one head hence I have one pillow, two if Im feeling hardcore but I couldn't put why there were so many all of a sudden. So I looked up and realized the window was roughly in the same place, although it seemed closer and then I looked up and instead of seeing the red glows of the little lights on the tv and sony, there was a cupboard in the way and I was confused as to why the cupboard was in the wrong place. I looked to my left and the doorway that should've been to the bathroom actually looked the same which confused me till I realized just where I was.
Turns out Im at my girlfriends house lying in bed, its a lot more comfortable now that I know I haven't been necessarily kidnapped and so I can rest easy cuz I could use some rest
Was laka seeing everyone minus the conhead tonight, I hear he's into making a name for himself with the schalkwyks. Good on him and his bravery. Finally had that beer I was craving. Ah I love the refreshing reward of a Carling at the end of the day, really does wonders for the ego.
Was meant to be a braai that thing but Im not sure if it stayed that way. I noticed an unhealthy amount of whispering going on, god knows what thats all about.
Im lying in bed and for a long while I thought I was in my own bed till I realized I was lying on the wrong side and there was an unhealthy amount of pillows on the bed. I only have one head hence I have one pillow, two if Im feeling hardcore but I couldn't put why there were so many all of a sudden. So I looked up and realized the window was roughly in the same place, although it seemed closer and then I looked up and instead of seeing the red glows of the little lights on the tv and sony, there was a cupboard in the way and I was confused as to why the cupboard was in the wrong place. I looked to my left and the doorway that should've been to the bathroom actually looked the same which confused me till I realized just where I was.
Turns out Im at my girlfriends house lying in bed, its a lot more comfortable now that I know I haven't been necessarily kidnapped and so I can rest easy cuz I could use some rest
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
I've become an urban myth, a legend
Im one of those people that you always hear stories about. You know those stories about that one person that someone knows that once got arrested for illegal music downloads or one of those people who once fell into a vat of beer and were permanently drunk or something outrageous like that.
Me, Im no different. At this other college the other day whilst telling my story for the billionth time, the lady started laughing and said she'd heard so many times of people having the same thing happen to them but this was the first time she'd ever met an actual live person who was in the situation. Haha ah it doesn't really do much for me even if Im now the proof to the many eyes of people. It sucks just as much as it did in the begining. At least now something is shaping up.
I've decided that now that Im depressed and have no life, I may as well have fun with it. Im so over trying to explain whats happening so I've decided that I could either just say I've dropped out, or that I have a stall in Market selling oranges on the side of the road. I could pretty much speak any amount of crap about what I really do and no one would know. Haha ah it sucks but hey, life as an orange seller is much better than sittin around the house looking for drugs.
I've done so many drugs lately its crazy. Ok they aren't really drugs they're just headache tabs but they may as well be drugs to me. I've had unbelievable headaches. Proper things that make unlawful acts with my poor brain and it makes me highly irritable. I need a fix round about now.
Me, Im no different. At this other college the other day whilst telling my story for the billionth time, the lady started laughing and said she'd heard so many times of people having the same thing happen to them but this was the first time she'd ever met an actual live person who was in the situation. Haha ah it doesn't really do much for me even if Im now the proof to the many eyes of people. It sucks just as much as it did in the begining. At least now something is shaping up.
I've decided that now that Im depressed and have no life, I may as well have fun with it. Im so over trying to explain whats happening so I've decided that I could either just say I've dropped out, or that I have a stall in Market selling oranges on the side of the road. I could pretty much speak any amount of crap about what I really do and no one would know. Haha ah it sucks but hey, life as an orange seller is much better than sittin around the house looking for drugs.
I've done so many drugs lately its crazy. Ok they aren't really drugs they're just headache tabs but they may as well be drugs to me. I've had unbelievable headaches. Proper things that make unlawful acts with my poor brain and it makes me highly irritable. I need a fix round about now.
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Winter had better come soon
The season is nearly upon us. Both winter and F1.
Nothing beats winter I swear. Winter mornings are the best. Everything is crisp and clear, the sun is shining but its so cold you cant even feel it. You've got your jacket done up and your collar is pulled a little bit higher and you have proper pants on. You feel the chill in your bones and you're just so happy. You can cuddle in winter, during the day. You can have a cold beer and still enjoy it cuz after 3 your whole body will be warm. Speaking of which I can do that once winter comes along and to top it all off, nothing is better than a Formula One race when its cold.
Speaking of which, the season starts in a coupla weeks which means race weekends are gonna be in full swing but now its gonna be different. See I have a girlfriend now, lovely creature that. She expects me to see her face and Im meant to watch F1 as well. How will I ever manage I hear you ask? Well its simple. My girlfriend, as she's about to find out, will have me in her living room every sunday, or friday saturday and sunday for about 9 months. If Im being fancy and its a huge race then I'll be there friday saturday sunday which works out to being 9 hours or so a weekend, aren't you just loving thinkin about all that time together? Why I hear you ask? Well she has one of those things that makes my boys look so much prettier going around corners super fast and I personally think it would be such a shame for her to miss out on all that action, and me in my turned on state from tyre smoke and purple sectors.
A sunday at Suzuka, beer in hand, Mc Laren's on pole and my girl in my lap. Those are the joys of F1 and no one can say otherwise because Lewis and Jenson both do that, Im sure of.
Nothing beats winter I swear. Winter mornings are the best. Everything is crisp and clear, the sun is shining but its so cold you cant even feel it. You've got your jacket done up and your collar is pulled a little bit higher and you have proper pants on. You feel the chill in your bones and you're just so happy. You can cuddle in winter, during the day. You can have a cold beer and still enjoy it cuz after 3 your whole body will be warm. Speaking of which I can do that once winter comes along and to top it all off, nothing is better than a Formula One race when its cold.
Speaking of which, the season starts in a coupla weeks which means race weekends are gonna be in full swing but now its gonna be different. See I have a girlfriend now, lovely creature that. She expects me to see her face and Im meant to watch F1 as well. How will I ever manage I hear you ask? Well its simple. My girlfriend, as she's about to find out, will have me in her living room every sunday, or friday saturday and sunday for about 9 months. If Im being fancy and its a huge race then I'll be there friday saturday sunday which works out to being 9 hours or so a weekend, aren't you just loving thinkin about all that time together? Why I hear you ask? Well she has one of those things that makes my boys look so much prettier going around corners super fast and I personally think it would be such a shame for her to miss out on all that action, and me in my turned on state from tyre smoke and purple sectors.
A sunday at Suzuka, beer in hand, Mc Laren's on pole and my girl in my lap. Those are the joys of F1 and no one can say otherwise because Lewis and Jenson both do that, Im sure of.
Monday, February 14, 2011
Saint Valentines Day
Tomorrow is Valentines Day. The day when some fat italian priest married sailors to soldiers or something like that and now He's dead and people have raped his legacy. People, girls in general, put lots of hype on this day and I guess its their magical fairytale day of love and believing in dreams coming true and whatever, its all bull frankly.
This is the first year I've had someone to share it with. Did I send her a rose, did I write her a card, did I buy chocolates? No I didnt, not because I dont care or anything but because I just dont like that day.
This year it worked it beautifully for us to do something on the day before and unfortunately it didnt work out but that doesn't mean we cant do something special any other time, in fact I would prefer that.
Out there lots of girls are gonna wake up in the morning feeling excited. They're gonna put on their red and white, taking time to pamper themselves and they'll leave their houses hoping that someone fancies them. Most of them will come home that night feeling very shattered and empty and who's fault is that? Its their fault for putting so much hype into something that is somewhat pointless and I for one am so glad that this year I am spared from witnessing all that. Year after year since my balls dropped I haven't done the red and white thing and till recently I didnt have a colour scheme but I've been told that its orange and green now which is fine.
Oh its fun believing in love. Commercial love with its hearts and arrows and glowing sunshines and walking hand in hand down the beach together, its all so lovely if you live so far up your ass that you believe that. This week I've had a whole bunch of babies ask me if I'd get them a rose and each time I've taken pleasure in telling them I dont believe in that day. The fatty wont get anything. The nerd with the pimples wont get anything, they may get something as a cruel joke but we all know thats all it is. The emo will get a dead bird which they'll act like they love but inside they're already cutting their wrists and for this I can honestly say I am thankful for what I have because I've told the lovely lady that I think its a waste and Im thankful that she hasn't called me up on it because I'd hate to look like a grinch. I love that she hasn't expected me to change into this model A sorta boyfriend who hands over his testicles in the begining of the relationship so she can rule with an iron claw. She has an iron claw alright but she wears a padded mitt that by the time its really dug in deep I've been lulled for so long that I didnt even notice, sly fox that...
This post must not be misunderstood though. Im not saying that its not good to show the person you love that you love and appreciate them. Im saying that its stupid to put that all up to one day and its events. I was going to get Gem some tulips, she knows why. I was gonna do the chocolate route because thats kinda safe on your first V-Day and I was gonna get her card, it would just be cardboard and I'd probably scribble something on it in the form of a humourous and inappropiate poem. Nothing says I still cant do that any other day of the year because I will, just not on a day when some bint is gonna go home crying because Brendan Kraus gave the teddy she gave him to some previously disadvantaged kid and ate all the heart chocolates without sharing.
This is the first year I've had someone to share it with. Did I send her a rose, did I write her a card, did I buy chocolates? No I didnt, not because I dont care or anything but because I just dont like that day.
This year it worked it beautifully for us to do something on the day before and unfortunately it didnt work out but that doesn't mean we cant do something special any other time, in fact I would prefer that.
Out there lots of girls are gonna wake up in the morning feeling excited. They're gonna put on their red and white, taking time to pamper themselves and they'll leave their houses hoping that someone fancies them. Most of them will come home that night feeling very shattered and empty and who's fault is that? Its their fault for putting so much hype into something that is somewhat pointless and I for one am so glad that this year I am spared from witnessing all that. Year after year since my balls dropped I haven't done the red and white thing and till recently I didnt have a colour scheme but I've been told that its orange and green now which is fine.
Oh its fun believing in love. Commercial love with its hearts and arrows and glowing sunshines and walking hand in hand down the beach together, its all so lovely if you live so far up your ass that you believe that. This week I've had a whole bunch of babies ask me if I'd get them a rose and each time I've taken pleasure in telling them I dont believe in that day. The fatty wont get anything. The nerd with the pimples wont get anything, they may get something as a cruel joke but we all know thats all it is. The emo will get a dead bird which they'll act like they love but inside they're already cutting their wrists and for this I can honestly say I am thankful for what I have because I've told the lovely lady that I think its a waste and Im thankful that she hasn't called me up on it because I'd hate to look like a grinch. I love that she hasn't expected me to change into this model A sorta boyfriend who hands over his testicles in the begining of the relationship so she can rule with an iron claw. She has an iron claw alright but she wears a padded mitt that by the time its really dug in deep I've been lulled for so long that I didnt even notice, sly fox that...
This post must not be misunderstood though. Im not saying that its not good to show the person you love that you love and appreciate them. Im saying that its stupid to put that all up to one day and its events. I was going to get Gem some tulips, she knows why. I was gonna do the chocolate route because thats kinda safe on your first V-Day and I was gonna get her card, it would just be cardboard and I'd probably scribble something on it in the form of a humourous and inappropiate poem. Nothing says I still cant do that any other day of the year because I will, just not on a day when some bint is gonna go home crying because Brendan Kraus gave the teddy she gave him to some previously disadvantaged kid and ate all the heart chocolates without sharing.
Naming these things is hard when they haven't been formulated in my brain
My weekend failed. I had hoped to see everyone and it looked set to be so until about when it hit 3 on friday and my dad was a no show. Like generally I make my own plan for a friday but he'd offered to take me so I was like well cool so be it but then something came up last minute and he couldn't. Like its happened before with work suddenly throwing a spanner in the works and Im fine with it because its out of everyone's power but when you know that its not just your plans you're screwin up it gets a little harder. So then saturday I was meant to go out and try salvage the weekend but unfortunately the situation was the same and its lead up to him having to go to Joburg till some time this week. I put no blame on anyone because its just unfortunate timing and Im still getting apologies which is touching but unnecessary.
I had a very annoyed girlfriend tho... Haha bless her soul. I get that what with all this drama that has happened lately a little face time was needed and I totally agree with that and so to have to cancel last minute each time is very tolling on someone and so I get the outburst because we're all human and we have feelings. This has been my most committed relationship and as someone who generally isn't emotionally needy its been a bit of a transition getting used to being with someone who is. Everyone else just kinda rolled with what came and it was always chilled and I didnt really care but what I like about my girl is that she doesn't just accept it and thats what makes her different because I actually get some sorta reaction so its harder but easier to work with at the same time.
Flouneller is a volatile little thing. She packs a huge bite that is very painful. Its very frustrating because trust me I empathize with her but at the same time I cant change my way of thinking and its been hard trying to pick out when to say this and when not to say this or when its time to do this or I shouldn't do that. Its like playing twister blindfolded whilst trying to balance a jug full of water on your back. I've spoken to Kirbstaple many times about such things and I swear if she didnt make me laugh at my baby outbursts then I'd be screwed. Its flipping hard, like right now I feel like the boyfriend that is the urban wives tale, spoken of but no one has ever seen this mysterious being, Im like Bigfoot or something.
I knew there'd be points like this and in all honesty its not so bad if you take into account that its not always going to be like this, the present isn't always the most important moment because sometimes that moment isn't a true reflection of what things actually are, sometimes you need to take a step back and have a look at whats come before and what is to come and I can say that it hasn't been a constant death, in fact its been quite the interesting journey but yes I do get that its still not great and Im not saying I dont agree with that because I do. I dont like feeling emotions and being dependant on someone romantically but I too feel it and this post has been torture to write because my totally male ego refuses to admit these things but in the long run its better.
So Im hoping for a better weekend this coming one. No hiccups and a chance at a bit of redemption is all I need.
I had a very annoyed girlfriend tho... Haha bless her soul. I get that what with all this drama that has happened lately a little face time was needed and I totally agree with that and so to have to cancel last minute each time is very tolling on someone and so I get the outburst because we're all human and we have feelings. This has been my most committed relationship and as someone who generally isn't emotionally needy its been a bit of a transition getting used to being with someone who is. Everyone else just kinda rolled with what came and it was always chilled and I didnt really care but what I like about my girl is that she doesn't just accept it and thats what makes her different because I actually get some sorta reaction so its harder but easier to work with at the same time.
Flouneller is a volatile little thing. She packs a huge bite that is very painful. Its very frustrating because trust me I empathize with her but at the same time I cant change my way of thinking and its been hard trying to pick out when to say this and when not to say this or when its time to do this or I shouldn't do that. Its like playing twister blindfolded whilst trying to balance a jug full of water on your back. I've spoken to Kirbstaple many times about such things and I swear if she didnt make me laugh at my baby outbursts then I'd be screwed. Its flipping hard, like right now I feel like the boyfriend that is the urban wives tale, spoken of but no one has ever seen this mysterious being, Im like Bigfoot or something.
I knew there'd be points like this and in all honesty its not so bad if you take into account that its not always going to be like this, the present isn't always the most important moment because sometimes that moment isn't a true reflection of what things actually are, sometimes you need to take a step back and have a look at whats come before and what is to come and I can say that it hasn't been a constant death, in fact its been quite the interesting journey but yes I do get that its still not great and Im not saying I dont agree with that because I do. I dont like feeling emotions and being dependant on someone romantically but I too feel it and this post has been torture to write because my totally male ego refuses to admit these things but in the long run its better.
So Im hoping for a better weekend this coming one. No hiccups and a chance at a bit of redemption is all I need.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
3 o'clock Thursday morning
Only profound thought I have at this time is, Blackberry should make a phone called the Blackberry Gun cuz then people could be like "Oh hey look I have a BB Gun".
Im actually so funny its unbelievable. I should stop talking to humans whatsoever and only speak to animals because I'll never thing up anything like that again. I think that may be close if not on par with the Fish Sauce joke.
I need a social life...
Gay-oh, its ok-oh. But only if you add value to my life
My day has been dominated by talks of queers. I've heard that word so many times today that you'd swear it was the word of the day. I was thinkin about it and well ya I guess I dont have anything much against gay people but they have to follow my rules.
The lead singer of my favourite band is gay. I can listen to Kele sing songs about love and not find myself scrubbing my body trying to get clean from all these disgusting thoughts now in my head, no, I just smile and picture a female being the inspiration behind those words. Im pretty sure Better Than Heaven is about a boy because it makes a reference to Corinthians 15:22 which pretty much speaks about how man is dead in Adam but alive in Jesus. Adam as we all know was the first man and in a vague explaination, if you're a homosexual then you are into adam who is a man and the bible says that if you are into same sex things then you are dead. The song is pretty much about the sin of sex, especially with a man, its about a guy.
Thats besides the point tho. My point is that I dont mind that Kele is gay because he has this superhero power when it comes to writing that it makes my narrow minded thinking fade. I dont mind the fact that Mika is gay because I liked Grace Kelly. I dont care that the guy who plays Barney is apparently gay because he makes me laugh. I dont mind that Alan Carr is a poef because sometimes his jokes make me laugh and I wouldn't care if Greg was a pillow biter although Im sure that guy gets at least 2% more poen than I do and well even tho I dont get any in fact Im sure his 2% is like 100 single units, a month, everytime.
Im not saying that Im all for male same sex encounters now, girls are ok but boys I still am not huge on. I wont tolerate gay unless it does something cool. If you are that way just for the sake of getting into a boys pants and playing with his firerod then Im sorry but you cant be my mate. Why leave the wonderous joys of the female anatomy to play with another guys piddler?
If one of my friends told me he was gay, it would be ok if they'd become suddenly magical in something I find cool that makes me forget they want to sink their ham into my warm, supple boy flesh. If not then I would wear a chastity belt, I refuse to be fiddled with in my sleep.
The lead singer of my favourite band is gay. I can listen to Kele sing songs about love and not find myself scrubbing my body trying to get clean from all these disgusting thoughts now in my head, no, I just smile and picture a female being the inspiration behind those words. Im pretty sure Better Than Heaven is about a boy because it makes a reference to Corinthians 15:22 which pretty much speaks about how man is dead in Adam but alive in Jesus. Adam as we all know was the first man and in a vague explaination, if you're a homosexual then you are into adam who is a man and the bible says that if you are into same sex things then you are dead. The song is pretty much about the sin of sex, especially with a man, its about a guy.
Thats besides the point tho. My point is that I dont mind that Kele is gay because he has this superhero power when it comes to writing that it makes my narrow minded thinking fade. I dont mind the fact that Mika is gay because I liked Grace Kelly. I dont care that the guy who plays Barney is apparently gay because he makes me laugh. I dont mind that Alan Carr is a poef because sometimes his jokes make me laugh and I wouldn't care if Greg was a pillow biter although Im sure that guy gets at least 2% more poen than I do and well even tho I dont get any in fact Im sure his 2% is like 100 single units, a month, everytime.
Im not saying that Im all for male same sex encounters now, girls are ok but boys I still am not huge on. I wont tolerate gay unless it does something cool. If you are that way just for the sake of getting into a boys pants and playing with his firerod then Im sorry but you cant be my mate. Why leave the wonderous joys of the female anatomy to play with another guys piddler?
If one of my friends told me he was gay, it would be ok if they'd become suddenly magical in something I find cool that makes me forget they want to sink their ham into my warm, supple boy flesh. If not then I would wear a chastity belt, I refuse to be fiddled with in my sleep.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
You can keep your understanding, Im rather fond of this soul. (Old things found in my drafts)
I just had one weird ass dream.
I dreamt I met a woman. She wasn't just any woman, she was perfect. She was everything I looked for in a girl, flawless. She also had somethin I value highly, a brain that had such knowledge and understanding. She was a demon.
She was so hot. She had a Tasha Baxter voice and the same kinda hair but with Lily Allen features all intensified.
I dreamt I was amongst these people and she was speakin to us. She had this book and it had like this sugar cone thing on the pages and everytime she spoke, it would move and the heads of the people around me would explode. It got to a point when I was the only one left and I didnt know what she was saying and she asked if I wanted to know and I said yes and she told me to close my eyes so that my head wouldn't explode. She then started to tell me things that I'd been questioning lately, it was really weird, like she was saying it word for word and I knew that no human brain is meant to know these things hence everyone was dead and so I grabbed her hand and asked her not to kill me once she'd told me everything and she said ok as long as I sold my soul to satan.
Now all I seek is understanding. I want to know things and be able to have some form of control in this life but frankly I would rather remain an ignorant fool if thats the case. Im not that desperate really and even tho she told me a few interesting things, I had kinda worked them out myself and I am able to do the same with the rest, it may not be spot on but it'll be good enough for me.
My NIV calms my frayed nerves. Why couldn't it have been ways to solve global hunger or how to end global warming, why did it have to be something I actually wanted to know? Its gone and put me off really...
I dreamt I met a woman. She wasn't just any woman, she was perfect. She was everything I looked for in a girl, flawless. She also had somethin I value highly, a brain that had such knowledge and understanding. She was a demon.
She was so hot. She had a Tasha Baxter voice and the same kinda hair but with Lily Allen features all intensified.
I dreamt I was amongst these people and she was speakin to us. She had this book and it had like this sugar cone thing on the pages and everytime she spoke, it would move and the heads of the people around me would explode. It got to a point when I was the only one left and I didnt know what she was saying and she asked if I wanted to know and I said yes and she told me to close my eyes so that my head wouldn't explode. She then started to tell me things that I'd been questioning lately, it was really weird, like she was saying it word for word and I knew that no human brain is meant to know these things hence everyone was dead and so I grabbed her hand and asked her not to kill me once she'd told me everything and she said ok as long as I sold my soul to satan.
Now all I seek is understanding. I want to know things and be able to have some form of control in this life but frankly I would rather remain an ignorant fool if thats the case. Im not that desperate really and even tho she told me a few interesting things, I had kinda worked them out myself and I am able to do the same with the rest, it may not be spot on but it'll be good enough for me.
My NIV calms my frayed nerves. Why couldn't it have been ways to solve global hunger or how to end global warming, why did it have to be something I actually wanted to know? Its gone and put me off really...
Eh this isn't fun to read, dont read it
Ah I haven't been here in a while. Ok I have but I haven't had anything to say. Ok I've had a lot to say, I just haven't had the right words to say it and I doubt these ones will do any justice either.
Well I guess the last coupla weeks have been a bit of a low. Still here wrestling with this school issue, the place has been found, its just having to work through all the placement issues and stuff. I've been to about a billion places in the last coupla weeks, all saying one thing and thats a big huge no, it gets annoying after a while.
And then there was the issue with the girlfriend and I. Ah now that was a weird sorta situation. I guess I should explain, if not for her than for myself. I've been keeping this whole school dilemma pegged down cuz all these negative thoughts kinda do no good and so I've been irritable lately and saturday I get what I felt was a bombardment on many fronts over something I knew nothing about and the characters of the people I choose to spend time with and things were said and I said a few things that weren't nice and it was a bit of a shock and it got me thinking, am I really the sorta guy thats needed if I say things that shock and Im not there sometimes when I should be and all these thoughts of just self doubtin was a bit much and yes I was being a huge baby and I was just annoyed but I decided that instead of turning something good into somethin toxic, why not cut ties and let it not get to that, let it end on a good note.
I've always said I want to break a girls heart and sure I still do, I will do it but no not that one, no thank you. Like during the whole cutting of ties thing I was busy thinking what the hell am I doing, why am I doing this, why'd I even say something, I could've just let it slip and none of this would be happening, wtfudge. But you cant really be like "ah I was just joking, I was only punking you", not when there're tears involved. You try be unaffected by the human voice when its in despair, ah it does terrible things to the soul. And like after it had been said and done I kinda just sat there thinking what the hell? I've only ever had a few what the hell moments, those times where you just cannot believe that something just happened and its kinda surreal and very dream like and you kinda question if you're awake or dreaming and that there was one of them moments.
I only had 4 hours sleep that night. Haha I woke up sunday and walkin past the mirror I was like 'Hey fekking eejit, you sleep well last night hmmm?'. Had it been a race weekend then lord knows how the brain would've been that morning, it would've helped no doubt but its good that it wasn't.
It was inevitable that I'd want to make right my mistake. Haha ah I thought about the many people I've put down for doing what I was about to do and I still maintain that its stupid, but now I know that there is a difference. My reasoning is that if either one of us had been unfaithful and it had led up to the split then there are no second chances about it, east and stay there but on this account, because it was me and because it was my stupidity then I think its all dandy. In fact it doesn't count as a split, its just a hiatus. A split is definate, a hiatus is a breather with intent to resume later.
Needless to say things have been patched up, it was a long ten hours and I've learnt a thing or two about my brain. Haha a dear eejit friend of mine implied I was weak but ah if only he knew my thought process at the time, I think he himself would be my friend again. In the immortal words of Weezy, "Life's a fxxkin rollercoaster then it drops. But what should I scream for, this is my theme park". Those words pretty much sum up everything. Well thats my story that I haven't been quite amped on talkin about but it makes sense to cuz this is my writing portal and now its been logged as another of my thoughts, embarrassing is my stupidity, being somethin I'll never do again but it helps one learn.
Well I guess the last coupla weeks have been a bit of a low. Still here wrestling with this school issue, the place has been found, its just having to work through all the placement issues and stuff. I've been to about a billion places in the last coupla weeks, all saying one thing and thats a big huge no, it gets annoying after a while.
And then there was the issue with the girlfriend and I. Ah now that was a weird sorta situation. I guess I should explain, if not for her than for myself. I've been keeping this whole school dilemma pegged down cuz all these negative thoughts kinda do no good and so I've been irritable lately and saturday I get what I felt was a bombardment on many fronts over something I knew nothing about and the characters of the people I choose to spend time with and things were said and I said a few things that weren't nice and it was a bit of a shock and it got me thinking, am I really the sorta guy thats needed if I say things that shock and Im not there sometimes when I should be and all these thoughts of just self doubtin was a bit much and yes I was being a huge baby and I was just annoyed but I decided that instead of turning something good into somethin toxic, why not cut ties and let it not get to that, let it end on a good note.
I've always said I want to break a girls heart and sure I still do, I will do it but no not that one, no thank you. Like during the whole cutting of ties thing I was busy thinking what the hell am I doing, why am I doing this, why'd I even say something, I could've just let it slip and none of this would be happening, wtfudge. But you cant really be like "ah I was just joking, I was only punking you", not when there're tears involved. You try be unaffected by the human voice when its in despair, ah it does terrible things to the soul. And like after it had been said and done I kinda just sat there thinking what the hell? I've only ever had a few what the hell moments, those times where you just cannot believe that something just happened and its kinda surreal and very dream like and you kinda question if you're awake or dreaming and that there was one of them moments.
I only had 4 hours sleep that night. Haha I woke up sunday and walkin past the mirror I was like 'Hey fekking eejit, you sleep well last night hmmm?'. Had it been a race weekend then lord knows how the brain would've been that morning, it would've helped no doubt but its good that it wasn't.
It was inevitable that I'd want to make right my mistake. Haha ah I thought about the many people I've put down for doing what I was about to do and I still maintain that its stupid, but now I know that there is a difference. My reasoning is that if either one of us had been unfaithful and it had led up to the split then there are no second chances about it, east and stay there but on this account, because it was me and because it was my stupidity then I think its all dandy. In fact it doesn't count as a split, its just a hiatus. A split is definate, a hiatus is a breather with intent to resume later.
Needless to say things have been patched up, it was a long ten hours and I've learnt a thing or two about my brain. Haha a dear eejit friend of mine implied I was weak but ah if only he knew my thought process at the time, I think he himself would be my friend again. In the immortal words of Weezy, "Life's a fxxkin rollercoaster then it drops. But what should I scream for, this is my theme park". Those words pretty much sum up everything. Well thats my story that I haven't been quite amped on talkin about but it makes sense to cuz this is my writing portal and now its been logged as another of my thoughts, embarrassing is my stupidity, being somethin I'll never do again but it helps one learn.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Of course I crapped on your chest baby
I love how a post comes to me. Generally its a thought that comes from many directions saying the same thing. How many people suddenly care about things like being emotionally in control all of a sudden?
So someone asked me if I think it was a bad thing to be open emotionally, "wouldn't that leave you exposed" and really what does that matter? Im a guy for steve's sake. So its ideal to find someone who gets you that you can be open to and for me I've got someone I devulge and sometimes I over do it by telling her that Aston Martin is still british.
Its a known thing that guys dont care. We seriously dont care. You feel fat? Pity. Your heels hurt you? What a shame. Your cat died? Well unlucky buddy. We really dont give a crap, in fact if girls weren't invented then we'd all just speak in grunts all the time like gorillas. I know this because I've had many a conversation with my dad as a gorilla before and it all makes perfect sense.
What every guy wants is a girl that boosts his ego. They sit around having a beer talking about how Mary-Lou said to Peter that Stephanie and Lucas had a fight and Lucas was being a total dick about it and Peter will agree with Mary-Lou but in the back of his mind he's congratulating the bastard for once again asserting his dominance. So what if Stephanie is in tears and she's now at a tea party with Georgina and Monique trying to help her through it, so what? As long as Lucas has shown that he is more dominate at least once in a while then all is well in his male brain because he knows that its inevitable for her to want to look past this because even tho its good sometimes, girls can be too forgiving.
Not all guys go around sticking their penis into your ear because they're on an ego trip, some are spineless gits like me. I dont set about planning ways to make my girlfriend break all the time so she can know that Im a self proclaimed hero, no no no thats not the way, subtlety. Shame tho I like her so I dont see the point of me pulling a move just to give myself an ego boost. The problem with doing something drastic is that sometimes it can bomb out in your face, Im not afraid of that tho in fact bring it on, there is a whole other aspect to that which would be fun to work with but there is no point.
So just now I get asked, "What if she's bluffing and being ego driven?". Haha all I had to say to that was if that ever were the case then flipping fair play to her. You know one day I want a relationship like what Jordan and Perry have. They can be as mean as crap as they want to each other and still everything is perfect. They are dysfunctional in theory but brilliant in practice. Thats what I'll have when Im older.
So someone asked me if I think it was a bad thing to be open emotionally, "wouldn't that leave you exposed" and really what does that matter? Im a guy for steve's sake. So its ideal to find someone who gets you that you can be open to and for me I've got someone I devulge and sometimes I over do it by telling her that Aston Martin is still british.
Its a known thing that guys dont care. We seriously dont care. You feel fat? Pity. Your heels hurt you? What a shame. Your cat died? Well unlucky buddy. We really dont give a crap, in fact if girls weren't invented then we'd all just speak in grunts all the time like gorillas. I know this because I've had many a conversation with my dad as a gorilla before and it all makes perfect sense.
What every guy wants is a girl that boosts his ego. They sit around having a beer talking about how Mary-Lou said to Peter that Stephanie and Lucas had a fight and Lucas was being a total dick about it and Peter will agree with Mary-Lou but in the back of his mind he's congratulating the bastard for once again asserting his dominance. So what if Stephanie is in tears and she's now at a tea party with Georgina and Monique trying to help her through it, so what? As long as Lucas has shown that he is more dominate at least once in a while then all is well in his male brain because he knows that its inevitable for her to want to look past this because even tho its good sometimes, girls can be too forgiving.
Not all guys go around sticking their penis into your ear because they're on an ego trip, some are spineless gits like me. I dont set about planning ways to make my girlfriend break all the time so she can know that Im a self proclaimed hero, no no no thats not the way, subtlety. Shame tho I like her so I dont see the point of me pulling a move just to give myself an ego boost. The problem with doing something drastic is that sometimes it can bomb out in your face, Im not afraid of that tho in fact bring it on, there is a whole other aspect to that which would be fun to work with but there is no point.
So just now I get asked, "What if she's bluffing and being ego driven?". Haha all I had to say to that was if that ever were the case then flipping fair play to her. You know one day I want a relationship like what Jordan and Perry have. They can be as mean as crap as they want to each other and still everything is perfect. They are dysfunctional in theory but brilliant in practice. Thats what I'll have when Im older.
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