My weekend failed. I had hoped to see everyone and it looked set to be so until about when it hit 3 on friday and my dad was a no show. Like generally I make my own plan for a friday but he'd offered to take me so I was like well cool so be it but then something came up last minute and he couldn't. Like its happened before with work suddenly throwing a spanner in the works and Im fine with it because its out of everyone's power but when you know that its not just your plans you're screwin up it gets a little harder. So then saturday I was meant to go out and try salvage the weekend but unfortunately the situation was the same and its lead up to him having to go to Joburg till some time this week. I put no blame on anyone because its just unfortunate timing and Im still getting apologies which is touching but unnecessary.
I had a very annoyed girlfriend tho... Haha bless her soul. I get that what with all this drama that has happened lately a little face time was needed and I totally agree with that and so to have to cancel last minute each time is very tolling on someone and so I get the outburst because we're all human and we have feelings. This has been my most committed relationship and as someone who generally isn't emotionally needy its been a bit of a transition getting used to being with someone who is. Everyone else just kinda rolled with what came and it was always chilled and I didnt really care but what I like about my girl is that she doesn't just accept it and thats what makes her different because I actually get some sorta reaction so its harder but easier to work with at the same time.
Flouneller is a volatile little thing. She packs a huge bite that is very painful. Its very frustrating because trust me I empathize with her but at the same time I cant change my way of thinking and its been hard trying to pick out when to say this and when not to say this or when its time to do this or I shouldn't do that. Its like playing twister blindfolded whilst trying to balance a jug full of water on your back. I've spoken to Kirbstaple many times about such things and I swear if she didnt make me laugh at my baby outbursts then I'd be screwed. Its flipping hard, like right now I feel like the boyfriend that is the urban wives tale, spoken of but no one has ever seen this mysterious being, Im like Bigfoot or something.
I knew there'd be points like this and in all honesty its not so bad if you take into account that its not always going to be like this, the present isn't always the most important moment because sometimes that moment isn't a true reflection of what things actually are, sometimes you need to take a step back and have a look at whats come before and what is to come and I can say that it hasn't been a constant death, in fact its been quite the interesting journey but yes I do get that its still not great and Im not saying I dont agree with that because I do. I dont like feeling emotions and being dependant on someone romantically but I too feel it and this post has been torture to write because my totally male ego refuses to admit these things but in the long run its better.
So Im hoping for a better weekend this coming one. No hiccups and a chance at a bit of redemption is all I need.
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