A thousand thoughts captured in one night...

Last night was interesting to say the least...

Two parties in one night that were such extreme polar opposites that it is actually quite strange considering the first one as one instead of just a gathering of bints. So during the space of the night with all the last minute planning and the sneaking in and the throwing of glow sticks, one thing was happening in the background that ended up making me write down how i felt on that state before it vanished and never maded on my rant spot.

First Thought.

So here I am lying here listening to Greg and his music is making unbelievable sense. I feel at ease, like I'm one with who I really am, haven't felt like this in a long time. We had a tiff today, I'm over these moments of uneasiness  really they annoy me. Listening Zephyrus  right now and this song was always one I associated with someone else but it makes more sense to put it to you right now. I know I've been difficult. One thing I learnt from my dad was to "Let them falter and see how they go about redeeming themselves". I know how I am emotionally inside. If I say I feel something then there is obviously truth behind it or else I wouldn't say it. I know how I feel I don't need it to be decided for me by a jury of people, I will put it up to people sure but at the end of the day the final say is mine and I know how i shall bear each decision because I've already thought that through.

Second Thought.

Ion Square still has the same effect on me as the very first time I listened to it. Every word it says I mean whole heartedly. Sure I mean I'm not gonna slit my wrists or go jump off a cliff should something drastic happen but that doesn't change the way I feel now, it doesn't change how I regard you and always have. Take a listen to it and see exactly how I feel... "Intimacy is a brilliant album, it chronicles a relationship from its birth, those moments of rebellious abandon, the highs of it, the dying spark and to top it off, the death of the girl so brilliantly that I do swear the album was written for me. Everything in it has such a strong meaning of which I have a strong affiliation which is weird. Last night was a good party. Had two good opportunities to just forget everything but it just didn't happen. Its not where I want to be right now and I could care less for what is said but at the end of the day I know I am a better person for the actions I took than anyone could ever say to me, at the end of the day my happiness comes first right?