Friday, January 28, 2011

Luckily Im not an emo

So going through my playlist and I once again realize Im such a morbid soul.

Im busy having a listen here and 'I Want You' by The Kooks comes on and I realize how kinda down it is so the next song comes on, 'Lonely Day' by System Of a Down, not the happiest song around.

In my song list, a huge number of these are morbid in some way:

All Around me - Flyleaf.
Arm Yourself - Z&G.
God's Bathroom - Atmosphere.
Biko - Bloc Party.
Haha ah the song I love the most, Black Crow - Z&G.
Bleed Me Out - Z&G.
Blinding - Florence and the Machine.
Skeleton - Bloc Party.
Blue Light - Bloc Party.
Chop Suey - System of a Down.
Cover My Eyes - La Roux, stupid song was the death of me once.
Diamonds Into The Landmine and every other Billy Talent song.
In fact, every Z&G song and a large number of Bloc Party, Editors, Blue October, Flyleaf and Papa Roach.

Happy songs are great when you're in the car going somewhere and they're playing loud on the radio but you just cant fall asleep to them. I find it hard to sleep without listenin to music and these little downers really get the eyes shutting, sometimes they stir the emotions and make with the seething rage or useless moping but most times they just put me to sleep. Bleed Me Out is on now. What kind of lyrics are "Dont bleed me out and take my soul. Bleed me out into the cold. Bleed me out and take my life." and "You got it all so why take me. You wanted more than I could be. We've hit the wall still trying to wake your lazy eye. But this is more, I wont fall without a fight."

I love this Greg fellow, sure those are suspect sounding words but they make me giggle cuz I always sing them loud and proud each time, strange cat that. I'll repeat it cuz I happen to like it alot and because I actually want some sleep tonight for a change.

Basic elements may confuse

One day, maybe not today, probably in years to come, I'd like to be mature. It wont happen over night but I think that Im on the path to getting to the point where I look at my current situations and think, "Yeah that was a mature way to handle it, whatup".

You ever tried playing with fire? Its dangerous. One minute you could be laying there on the floor watching a deo can sit inside a flame and next thing you know there could be flame lapping at the very foundations of where you lay your head to sleep. Its all such a tricky thing. You think you have it under control and then bam its all up in flames and sometimes you're able to get it down, you're able to put it out and its only just a little whimper and that gives you a fake confidence, a confidence that says well if it were to happen next time you could handle it but really, one of these days those flames are just gonna be a bit too hot and a bit too fast for you to put out and you're gonna burn ekse, you're just gonna be engulfed by those orange devils and as you helplessly burn you'll think "It said 'caution flammable' and yet here I am".

The natural alternative to fire is ice. So sure it doesn't turn you into ashes and charcoal. Ice is kinda safe I guess, it keeps you preserved in a sense. You know that if you park off there you'll stay intact, many years from now people will come across you still preserved whole and once you thaw out you'll realize you've pretty much missed out on a whole life time.

Both fire and ice will kill you, there is no way around that but which is more exciting? They say the only way to fight fire is with fire but what if you just dont have it in you to spark a flame, a bit cold? Ice is a solid and pretty simple in its make up but hard to keep that way when you're also a bit too warm.

The best alternative is water. Its hot ice or cold fire in a sense. Everyone loves water, it keeps you satisfied, you can heat it up or you can cool it down. You can really work with it but push too much and it'll evaporate or it'll freeze over. You really cant please the elements can you?

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Maybe Hender was onto something

Haha ah Im watching Jersey Shore as I write this, WTF?!

Ok so this program has no point besides showing people gettin drunk, swearing alot and then either having sex or getting into fights. See Im all for those things, especially when its a bunch of randoms but come on, if you're mates then whats the point? You can drink together and hook up but its funny when they suddenly start knocking each other.

So the story goes that some girl made up crap about what the other said on the phone and they confronted each other and came to blows, the one guy got annoyed and pushed his mate and thats it. So now what makes me laugh is that the girls make such a big deal of it. They aren't talking, they're making a mountain of a mole hill and its major drama and the guys are chilled with each other, they pulled off to the side and talked it out.

Girls are stupid when it comes to that. If they are wrong, you're the one who's wrong and if they're right, you'll most definately be told that you're wrong, no word of lie. So there lies the difference. Girls seem to take things so seriously, like the end of the world comes when their next situation is up and may god help you if you call them up on it. Haha ah we like them though because even if they're actually the ones driven by ego, we need their stupidity.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Lie Lie Lie

Its said that to have a healthy relationship, all you have to do is lie. Now that I've been in one for longer than two moons, I think I've gotten a handle on it.

Its so easy to lie, its kinda built up in the male brain, its an easy way to avert an unpleasant situation and its a good way to spare someones feelings and sometimes its not lying but its actually joking. You cant lie about somethings though, that I forbid.

If my girlfriend calls me up and asks what we're doing tonight and I dont want to say "Babe Im going out with the guys tonight. We'll be surrounded by girls, we're going to a strip club and I will get a lap dance that will probably lead to something else and because of that I'll catch an STD but thats ok because I wont see you for two weeks and by then it'll be sorted" I can just easily make up an excuse and say I have no network or if I want to be somewhat truthful I can always say Im just chilling with the guys. That part isn't so bad because I would be mixing a bit of truth with a bit of a lie but I've lied to her before.

Girls like to ask this question, it seems stupid to the male mind. Its actually a clever question to ask because in most cases it gives you some sort of leverage or something to work with but girls will wait for after you've shared a "cute" little moment and you're together and she's lyin in your arms and looks up at you and says "What's on your mind?". I actually fear it because once you've processed what is being asked of you, you have three options. Either tell her the truth, risk looking like a fool and ruining the moment, tell her what she wants to hear like "Im thinkin about you" and that WILL be followed by her asking "what are you thinkin about me" which WILL force you to lie, or you can be safe as houses and just say you aren't thinkin about much.

I remember being in that situation. She did everything according to the text book and asked that question and in that second it took me to answer, all those things ran through my mind. In actual fact just in case you were wondering, I was thinkin about a song and how it is someone goes about writing something that could become a hit. The second time you asked, I was wondering what it would be like to trip a greyhound running at 70km/h, would it break its legs or something or would it fall on its face, die, and then crap its guts out? These are all legit thoughts but because of the situation and the person askin the question, they cant be told so the best option is to be safe as houses.

Never ever try asking that question though. I remember asking my girlfriend what was on her mind and I've never felt more queer than that. It sounds so foreign for a guy to try use that technique, like you're the girl in the relationship and you may as well be in the kitchen making pie. I cringed after that and vowed never to try it again, not because I dont care whats on her mind but I'd rather do it in a clever, less obvious way.

I lied to her today. She asked me about something she felt she was so certain of and at first I didnt have the guts to break her little world and I was like yes you've figured it out, he is the one who does those things but then I thought about it and if I'd said Alimundi had become some writing genius, she'd probably ask him about it and he'd be like wtfudge and she'd look silly for believing my lie so I had to be truthful and tell her, but not tell her who 'he' actually is, but tell her that 'he' is definately not him. Haha ah she's cute when she thinks she's gotten onto something. She gets that air of valiant victory and anything you say will not take away her moment of triumph. How do you not find that cute, its like a toddler comin to you after learnin to tie their shoelace and you can see that they've only just tied a knot but they're so proud of their mangled laces that you just smile and go along with it.

So yes babe, Ben has magically learnt to work a computer and has become a fantastic scribe and is the author of my favourite blog even though the words I like the most are the ones I say myself?...

Monday, January 24, 2011

Ok... We own The Reebok

I've had a crap day, no other way to put but ah the little things make it so much better...

Was feeling rather down and out today, minimal sleep, minimal success, really out of it and when I got home all I wanted to do was just crawl up into a ball and die but ah my darling, she went and brightened up my mood in such a huge way. Thank you love for that, really got me to stop being a bit of a baby and for you I wont become a coal miner. I also like the way you can read a paragraph with such ease.

The Reebok belongs to us. I haven't seen Chelsea play like this since early in the season and its about time. Thats another factor thats gone to liftin me up a little higher than where I was before. I love the taste of victory, it tastes so sweet.

3 o'clock on a monday morning

Im here lying in bed, I should be asleep. Any normal person would be out of it but not me, I've become a subject of my thoughts.

You come to mind. When I think of you, I think of you and I, I think of us.

I think of them, I think of him, I think of him and her, I think of her when she was with him, how she wanted so much from him when he was just himself.

I think her, I think of how even though she has no hold, she doesn't make you feel nice. But then I think of him, in some ways she is to you what he is to me in some cases although what I felt then has changed full circle to something else, there is some sorta resemblence. What annoys me is when its said they know how I feel about that. Maybe they know so points but really its alot more deep seeded than that. This here shall make me a better person in the end but for now it just feels so foreign.

Thats got me thinkin of them, sittin on the couch. Its got me thinkin of what they could've been, what they should've been and what they are now. I kinda wonder why it didnt play out but then I realize its exactly the same reason why all these other situations are like they are now.

I chuckle a bit as I think of him, the same him from just now but this time he's not with her. This time he is exactly what he was meant to be and all three of them had no clue. She on the one hand also wanted too much, he was willing to try, you cant fault him there but really its not enough. She wanted him in any way shape or form, acceptin him for what he gave out. Finally she came there with the thought of taking him and doing her will, little did she know that by doing so he would call her bluff and now she's lost face in my eyes anyway.

I also think of him. He who is a long sufferer to them. Plagued by their ways and yet since being free of her, has grown into something I admire. A beast of sorts on a mission, one where he has slain the demons from his past and I can only hope he carries on cuz its about time.

And now I think of her. Thanks to him I know what goes on. Him and I in that cupboard, he took a bullet for me that day, somethin I wont forget. I feel bad. I feel bad that under false pretences I now know what I wanted to know so long ago, all I want is to be told and yet it took such effort to get out what is so easy to say no matter the consequences that may follow. I know it means alot to me, maybe my actions weren't the right ones but now I have a trump card, its not easy trying to tame a dragon with some glowsticks. I guess in that we're so alike. So akin to each others thoughts that even when we're certain we still drag it out, not because we're stupid or anything but because we're driven by our egos. I like that.

Now Im thinkin about her, her and him. How he played a game so brilliant, so well thought out that she didnt know about what he did, neither did she and now if either were to really find out then Im more than positive he could worm his way out. A bit of a hero in my eyes but he chose the wrong subject.

I know this all makes no sense because this is what Im thinkin about but in actual fact it makes unbelievable sense. All of that is linked by one thing, crap I had the words but in basic form its all a big game. Its a game of wit and brain power, deceit and lies but its also about emotions, some thought and a bit of luck. To fully understand you'd have to be lying in bed at 3 in the morning kinda workin out the linking factor. We're generally not at a point where we can accept exactly what it is we're doing so we do what comes to mind and what comes to mind sometimes isn't the right thing.

So now I think of you again. Im thinkin about all this, all these thoughts, this theory and where in my mind you fit in. I chuckle again because its a scary place in this head. But the funny thing is, some people dont know about you and I. They say "I never expected that from you". And now Im thinkin about you and I speaking to her that night. She said something about how I said I wasn't sure what would happen if you weren't there because we'd spoken about it, she knew how I'd been before, she knew first hand what I could do with enough rope and yet after telling her how much I've been given, I think its safe to say she's suprised by what I've actually done with it. I can say now that you've taught me a thing or two. I know now about priorities and where my head is at in this game and for that I thank you. Haha now Im thinkin about my feelings for you. Thats for another post...

I haven't been watching Dragonball Z

Simple fact of the matter is that I haven't been keeping up with my viewing.

I understand holidays and weekends cuz Im with mates and its kinda strange going out to watch an episode and generally at that time all that really functions is being lazy and now that Im home, I told myself I'd get back into it but alas I still haven't. I can actually feel the change and its not for the better. I can barely even do a set anymore and now with school cropping up and the commitments of that, it'll be hard to try get back into the swing of things. The problem with it all is that I get super tired which is a given seeing that Im doing more than my usual ten meters, at one point I could do 15 but now I really think Im down to a low number like 7 or something. I used to be the worlds fastest 10 meter sprinter which is something huge to brag about, being the worlds fastest 7 meter sprinter? Yeah thats not so cool...

As of tomorrow I think if the day allows and I stop procrastinating I could get something done. I also haven't watched an actual episode of Dragonball Z, thats probably why?

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Its like owning a plant. If you dont use it often it'll forget you and cause clutter in other people's homes

Im no blogging veteran, I haven't owned one for a year but I've seen many come and fall.

Its always a happy day when someone decides to join this world. You quickly type in their URL and you anxiously wait for their words to pop up on your screen and then you're either greeted by genius or some hack with a beard and a taste for twinkies...

Owning a blog is like having a girlfriend or a really nice pet. Its all fun and games in the begining, you wanna write down everything that happens and nothing is better than having your own little corner of the internet to write what you want but after a while, once the honeymoon period is over, thats when you see who the real bloggers are. In my list of blogs, there are a few I follow. My eternal sunshine or something like that, that girls thing:) and Greg's old blog, Greg's new one, all of those haven't lit up my screen in ages. My eternal serendipity did give me a little buzz a few days back but thats like trying to hold onto a storm in the desert. You gotta nurture these things, you gotta exercise their space, you gotta put up stuff I can read because Im really nosey.

I've also come to realize that there are many different kind of blogs, be it sports blogs, porn blogs, music blogs, picture blogs, car blogs. I can gladly say I've sampled them all in my little blog fascination but the ones that really stand out to me the most are the ones that mix it all. Mix up some naked girls driving cars sideways around goal posts whilst listening to some Hendrix and taking action photos and I swear you'll have the best blog on the internet, I would be a follower straight away.

I haven't posted regularily in recent months, I've had not much to say really but I think I may be coming back into form which is good now that I've hopefully offended a few people to stop being lazy nancies and use those phones you all so adore with there epic keypads and flashing LED lights, you bunch of lazy gits. Us cool people with our alphanumeric nokia keypads are doing just fine, but then again I cant speak for everyone when I say cool people, I am the only Chelsea supporter.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Leeeeeeka mate Greg Carlin

I think Greg deleted me off myFace:'(

Im genuinely bleak right now like seriously. I went lookin up our past messages in my inbox and it said page could not be found so I looked him up in my friend list and he wasn't there and I tried searching for him and he was gone... I feel like shedding a tear right now.

Hahaha ah I know I didnt hound the guy but come on, to suddenly disappear? I was a devoted fan who didnt blur the line between appreciator of genius and some strange person who wants to sleep with him. He was one of those people you have when you're like "You see that guy on the tv, yeah I have him on my social networking site". The guy's from my flipping favourite SA band for heavens sake. He's no Kele Okereke but he was the next best thing, best male voice I've sampled in ages. Haha Im being a baby about this and I probably sound like some strange stalker with weird fixation, ah you see I said fixation and now look. But really the guy was almost something close to musical hero.

Im gonna have to reconsider that invite he sent me for that gig, how dare they expect me to come after my birthday now with this black cloud over my head? I think Z&G and I are taking a break until my heart is mended or Facebook says it was only joking. Gonna cry myself to sleep now, ok no I wont but still, Im still sad.

I know why he deleted me... It was that picture with Jack Parow. He saw that I was keen and misinterpreted that keenness and was scared that when we took a photo I wouldn't be able to do anything on that level, which is a lie because everyone knows as my best mate he'd get keenness of a whole level above Jack.

Collins learnt to lead a double life from me

So I've started using Twitter again.

Polished up my account, thought I'd have a squiz to see whats going on and funny enough I have real human followers and not the sex crazed perverts that send you links to their lewd websites. Both Jodie and Jodi follow me, got an aquatic sea mammal and I even have A_dog, thats right, A_dog...

As we all know A_dog has gone into hiding, no one knows where that homie is. Well it seems that He's the most active user on this twitter thing, having only posted a few hours ago and he has full on conversations with people. Kim posts pictures and occasionally says how much she loves me, Crofty and Ant are celebrities in my eyes now and Jenson and Lewis give me a whatup from time to time. Oh yes I forgot to mention that I follow both my mates, we need a way of pin pointin each other and its a helpful way, they know Im spending an evening at home, I know Lewis has been hiking and was at MTC and Jenson just went to watch that fancy french circus whom I dont feel like looking up for spelling. Greg also told me to get keen for the 9th, as if I wouldn't be keen to be trampled by groupies again and have my face on the internet.

Its tough being an undercover celeb when all my mates are such big names. They complain about how hard it is for them to not brag about me and I get it, I get that I make it hard for you guys. Im sorry I sometimes miss a race cuz I wanna hang out with my best mates and kick it with my girl sometimes. Im sorry I missed christmas in New York cuz I was out driving and I really hope that we can move on from me missing new years cuz I was knee deep in mud.

In my defense tho its not all my fault. I cant help I have nice little friends. Who else would make girls cry by saying they love them while you're in a cupboard? Who else would clean up your spilt bitter by sipping it straight off the carpet? Who else would put on a skate demo to a song we repeated over and over? Who else would try shove a cushion up the front of his shirt? Who else would start his own delivery company with a broken bike and an envelope and who else would remind me to be nice even tho its just some healthy boy talk?

Its hard being an undercover celeb but its worth it.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Scientists failed to be like me and now big business suffers

You know how Cockroaches are meant to be these hardcore insects that dont die and are too cool for everyone else, its a bit of a lie right?

So Im making myself a cup of coffee before my evening television viewing and someone, (cant imagine who it could've been) FORGOT to take out the rubbish so here is this roach walkin on the floor and Im like wow look at this homie go, he must die, but how do you kill a cockroach? They have 2 heads, their normal head and one in their assholes which is why they can live up to 7 days when you severe their kop. Scientists have said that they can survive radioactivity hence they'd be the only things alive once Korea decides its had enough of America being the dominant power and nukes the world. You spray them with Doom and they just sit there laughing at you like you're some fool and you step on the thing and it crunches, trust me it crunches under foot, but as soon as you move your foot thinking you've killed the thing it just runs off at a million miles an hour and I know this because I've seen it happen many times.

So Im standin with the kettle in my hand, just poured my cup of brew and there's some water left and I splash the thing with it thinking he'll just get annoyed and go lodge a complaint or something and I kinda watch it hobble a few steps and then, dead. He stopped moving straight and to be honest I was quite shocked. Turns out boilin water kinda pretty much kills the bastards so now Im thinking, why the hell did scientists waste time with radioactivity and why do we buy Doom and Raid when all we really need is a kettle? If Russel and Hobbs also said their kettles were ace cockroach killing machines, Im pretty certain every household would have their kettles. That would also make people appreciate the brand and then they'd buy their toasters and if appliance companies said their microwaves killed roaches then obviously I'd know how to work one properly by now?

I know Im a flipping genius but seriously now, corporate giants must realize this because I come up with the best ideas, imagine how much more money they'd make with me as their think tank instead of hiring manatees to carry idea balls from one side of the tank to the other...

Scientists failed to be like me and now big business suffers

You know how Cockroaches are meant to be these hardcore insects that dont die and are too cool for everyone else, its a bit of a lie right?

So Im making myself a cup of coffee before my evening television viewing and someone (cant imagine who it could've been) FORGOT to take out the rubbish so here is this roach walkin on the floor and Im like wow look at this homie go, he must die, but how do you kill a cockroach? They have 2 heads, their normal head and one in their assholes which is why they can live up to 7 days when you severe their kop. Scientists have said that they can survive radioactivity hence they'd be the only thing alive once Korea decides its had enough of America being the dominant power and nukes the world. You spray them with Doom and they just sit there laughing at you like you're some fool and you step on the thing and it crunches, trust me it crunches under foot, but as soon as you move your foot thinking you've killed the thing it just runs off at a million miles an hour and I know this because I've seen it happen many times.

So Im standin with the kettle in my hand, just poured my cup of brew and there's some water left and I splash the thing with it thinking he'll just get annoyed and go lodge a complaint or something and I kinda watch it hobble a few steps and then dead. He stopped moving straight and to be honest I was quite shocked. Turns out boilin water kinda pretty much kills the bastards so now Im thinking, why the hell did scientists waste time with radioactivity and why do we buy Doom and Raid when all we really need is a kettle? If Russel and Hobbs also said their kettles were ace cockroach killing machines Im pretty certain every household would have their kettles. That would also make people appreciate the brand and then they'd buy their toasters and if appliance companies said this microwaves killed roaches then obviously I'd know how to work one properly by now?

I know Im a flipping genius but seriously now, corporate giants must realize this because I come up with the best ideas, imagine how much more money they'd make with me as their think tank instead of hiring manatees to carry idea balls from one side of the tank to the other...

Now Im sad

Just finished reading The Man In The White Suit... Best book I've ever read.

Ah man I was trying so hard to stretch it out, make it last as long as possible. For the first time ever I was reading a chapter at a time trying to make it last instead of the chapter orgy I usually have where I just binge read till I can hardly keep my eyes open. Ok these last two day I did binge read but thats because I was trying to get the most out of it. So graphic it is in places about racing. Ok its not necessarily graphic in a sense that its Sebastien Loeb graphic as he tells you how he gets a feel for corners through his ass which is why He's 7 times World Rally Champion I think it is but for a book about driving that I've read it was pretty epic. I cant wait for my fathers return from Raj's palace so I can take the back streets. I've spent the week just sitting in the car pressing the stability control on and off and laughing like a retarded baby each time the off light comes on and the little orange car flashes on the speedo.

Im gonna read more books of interest this year instead of reading books for the sake of it. After the brilliant words Collins said about my boy Lewis, I just have to read his book, I will read his book, in fact its the next book I'll ever spend money on. I wonder if Jenson has a book. In fact everyone should read their books so they'll flippin know that we're all best mates. For the sake of anonymity, I asked Collins not to mention me in his book because that would mess up alota things for me here at home, imagine if people found out that when I was supposed to be in hiding for the weekend at home I was actually in Dunsfold before I headed out to join my boys in whichever country they were racing in. My girlfriend would break up with me, not worth the risk.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Why is it that Murphy comes?

The theory of Murphy's law puzzles me sometimes...

Like sometimes really, why must something thats not meant to happen, happen? Why cant the universe just chill and be like "You know what, today I'll bust a spliff instead of screwin people over". I decide to charge my poor beloved telephone and as she feeds off the juicy goodness of electricity, it dies.. I mean come on, why now when I've lined up a massive night of viewing pleasure, Curb your enthusiasm is on, I want to see Arsenal lose again, I was watchin RPM which to some apparently sounds like a porn channel and not a car program?

My poor darling mustn't decide She's gonna turn 40... The downside to my genius of hookin up Mxit with my blog is that I only have 1000 characters compared to the 5500 odd ones I had before, you see, stupid Murphy ruining my triumphant moment...

Does this work?

I wanna see if this works, if it does them im rather amped on life...

Im becoming a pussy...

Just watched Green Street Hooligans and its still just as great as it was before. Right now Im amped to have a pint and get into scuffle. I loved how frikin british that movie was, sure there was a yank in it but he did crap all, it was all about the queens men. The american accents did annoy me cuz all I wanted to hear was that lovely pommie accent. I will return to my home country soon...

There was a part that got me though in that movie. Poor homie is down at the bar sorting out his wife's kid brother when other goons come up and he gets stabbed in the neck with a beer bottle. Thats a frikin dick thing to do and Im pretty sure it hurt like crap having someone stick a bottle into your juggular. But what really got me is that someone somewhere had to phone the wife and be like "ma'am your husband is in hospital, he's been stabbed".

Imagine how gay it must be hearing that. Imagine how my family would feel if that happened to me, how bleak Kim would be? "Miss Kardashian-Sithole, your husband is in hospital and some pillock stuck him with an Archers bottle", She'd be frikin devastated, my poor Mikel would have a father who speaks to him with one of those external voice box machines. Ok it would be different for me, I'd probably be in hospital after some strange car accident thats not my fault because I have unbelievable car control once I get it off the line so it would probably be some stupid bear that wondered into the middle of the road and I swerved to miss it which I successfully did because I did some fancy wizardry with all three pedals, the gear shift, the traction and stability control buttons and hand break but as I come out of my glorious slide some stupid truck t-boned me, I wouldn't die though because that'll only happen once I own an SLR Mc Laren and it'll be in a huge fireball where I'll be nicely cremated, saves Kim the hassle.

But anyway I was just so bleaked out by that, the poor family. I'd never ever wanna put Kim and Mikel through anything like that. What makes me laugh though is how all these things are getting to me lately, I think I must be pregnant or something cuz my sad gland has been on high alert. After watching The Time Traveller's Wife with Scunthorpe, I cant stand seeing little families all sad, especially the dolls, shame...

Monday, January 17, 2011

Girls are funny Ha-Ha

"If I had one last thing to say before I did, I'd wish you never justify the way I treated you"

Brilliant words by my friend Greg there. Some may see them as a guy crying out to his lover saying how he was a bad person and such but to the normal male who actually knows whats potting, you can see that what he actually means is "Bitch you want too much".

Girls always complain that us guys never say the right things or do the right things that make them happy, that we're heartless jerks, egotistical pigs, insensitive bastards and other names and what they dont realize is that saying those things is so empowering. No guy wants to be known as the sweet guy who says all the right things and treats the girls perfectly cuz really that guy there is forgotten after some ass comes and sticks his thumb in your eye. There seems to be this way of thinking that females have that we're meant to be these Gods that tend to their every emotional whim and we're meant to be like those guys on tv who are mysterious, gentle but with a mean edge, loved by the friends and still have time to come back and rub their feet while we prepare rhubarb pie for them to gorge on.

Frankly thats a huge misconception especially when applied to the average teenage boy, if not every teenage boy. As a teenage boy only a few things register. Your mates, debauchery and the last crap you took.

We cant say the things you want to hear because we dont know them, we cant tell you how we feel about you at that very moment, we cant be your knight in shining armour, we cant be best friends with everyone on your social networking sites and you're frikin stupid if you think we're about to be that hero on tv that comes into the room and has his own little theme music playing softly, nein screw that crap.

Haha if girls realized that and how little demands we make sometimes then trust me, you little cheese dippers will understand just how happiness will come to you...

Friday, January 14, 2011

Heavily Mediocre Evening

Well tonight didnt live to expectations... It was like a waterfall that began to trickle at the word go.

It was great being boys, letting firecrackers off like the eejits we are which I enjoy and really I think we've proven that we can make a cracker like no one else. All in all that part of the day was amazing...

So Im an arrogant asshole, amped... But no really if thats how I am then so be it, Forgive me for not bending backwards but in my inebriated state I fail to believe in putting myself down, I matter then and so be it, I happen to like myself quite a bit in fact. Took a walk with a Pope's daughter, was interesting. Took a drive in a little red japanese hatchback and that was the biggest highlight of my night, too amped on that I say, relaxing little bit of movement that is, everything mechanical working in one to make me a happy chappy, I still say I'll only find hapiness with a machine.

I love being a boy, Im not a man so Im told but chilled my day will come... Queenie returns soon and I am an amped seun, missed her lang lang gelerde

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Been thinking little thoughts

A whole week without posting it says, that is a very long time indeed and to my defense there hasn't been much to say, so I thought. I only really ever get inspired to write on this thing late at night and I've been sleeping on command lately so as soon as sleep knocks I just accept but tonight its gladly stayed at bay so my thoughts can come play.

The Berg was really good. Ah it had some moments of sheer visual beauty, its funny how scenery can be considered as something beautiful, it doesnt move or live but still it has the properties needed by the brain to be thought of as appealing. Some random things did go down there, random by my standard anyway from hauntings from our ghost to pmsing weather and random xooking up. Haha ah its funny because one day you wake up doing your normal day to day things and then the next day you have your tongue down someones throat so deep you're kinda thinking "wtf, how did I even get here?" so in that respect I am very proud of all of you guys that have used up these past two weeks to the full.

What I didnt enjoy however was the drama going on faaaar away from us that seemed to find its way straight to where we were. I think its safe to say that when people get inebriated they change and I myself become very indignant and for me thats a big thing because Im not usually that kind of person so once I heard Rambo's little rant, I can happily say I was genuinely peeved, I still dont get the whole point behind that and all that other stupid relationship drama? Well done guys we had the little moment of drama it was fun but now no one cares so let it all go on. Haha this place is where I place my thoughts but its gotten to a point where I cant be as transparent as I am on my other domains.

Today was interesting...

I remember Kayleigh saying something about me and mind games. I do think there is something to that. Alimundi has this effect where with minimal effort he can evoke this black coal from the souls of those silly enough to fall for him which I envy with my every being but I am willing to bet all the money in the world that he doesnt have as much fun as I do. Scunthorpe can get silly gits to crooning with every word he utters but instead of it turning into a fun game of push and pull afterwards, they just sink their teeth into his very pores and no one wants a rat eating at your knees. What you want is for a girl to be completely sold on what you have to say but once you call it quiets then they must crave what once was.

I like girls cuz they think they're funny, like they can control how our minds work but they have one huge major weakness, they're too emotional. I like the ones that have this sense of "Im too cool right now, none will get to me" and yet when you look at it really closely, same amount of work done in them as anyone else and they'll be wrapped around your finger tighter than a promise ring.

I like having my girlfriend. Thats only one mind that I can play with and its all light hearted stuff, things that hold no consequence and thus make it enjoyable because its not like Im on some sorta prowl looking to score big mind fxxk points or anything, just me and my girl who is important enough to be spared. Haha ah she killed me when she used that little voice that I just cant resist for crap the other night, "Promise not to when Im away". I was like whatup, of course I wouldn't but that there just scored you about a thousand points, you're safe esse.

Monday, January 3, 2011

I wont tear myself apart if you promise to paint me, as a work of art

"Summer time has come and gone, all used up with wishful thinking..." Bloc Party know how to put words to thoughts, they have tongues which they use to relay themselves hence I understand them so well..

2010 was officially only a month long, Im not sure what you call all that time afterwards but that too is also over. I can happily say that new years was the most interesting new years I've had ooit. It was just one mash up adventure. From flipping missioning to get ice, nearly being killed in the process to walking around being offered ganja to bloody having a mob of locusts come and throw cereal around our camp and all the randoms who either had their tits felt, woke up in other peoples beds or were there but no one knew who they were because we only spoke in hand gestures...

I think the best part for me was the debauchery. From my point of view where I assume Im in a committed relationship it all looks so funny. I completely understand everything done by those people, its new years and as a latent rule you are kinda forgiven for having a one track mind. Sure its not a good thing to do haha but its still funny. Im just waiting for someone to come to their frikin senses so there are some actual people with gall who will get their heads out their ass and make some bloody drama. This fairy stuff that goes on, this "its ok babe i'll forgive you" is frikin bullshit, there's something you refuse to be hypocritical about, I know these things I've played these games before. I must add though that Im honestly, unbelievably proud of Kirby for having the balls to confess to her eyebrowed wonder of her little moment of abandon, its not often you see people do that these days and to me thats a quality worth more than anything else.

I went there in one state of mind and left in a completely different one. I didnt know who'd be there, frankly I didnt care either. At one point I did pull a "Goat-Looking James" and just didnt trust completely. Im sure Im right in doing so, at some point I'll be right because if I spent my nights alone with girls in tree houses, surely that would spark suspicion, not just from my immediate connect but also from those around haha and those around can really tell a believable story.

Im not heaping any praise on this year because Im sure that'll just make it fail, as long as my trusted F1 delivers then I am a happy man.