Scientists failed to be like me and now big business suffers

You know how Cockroaches are meant to be these hardcore insects that dont die and are too cool for everyone else, its a bit of a lie right?

So Im making myself a cup of coffee before my evening television viewing and someone, (cant imagine who it could've been) FORGOT to take out the rubbish so here is this roach walkin on the floor and Im like wow look at this homie go, he must die, but how do you kill a cockroach? They have 2 heads, their normal head and one in their assholes which is why they can live up to 7 days when you severe their kop. Scientists have said that they can survive radioactivity hence they'd be the only things alive once Korea decides its had enough of America being the dominant power and nukes the world. You spray them with Doom and they just sit there laughing at you like you're some fool and you step on the thing and it crunches, trust me it crunches under foot, but as soon as you move your foot thinking you've killed the thing it just runs off at a million miles an hour and I know this because I've seen it happen many times.

So Im standin with the kettle in my hand, just poured my cup of brew and there's some water left and I splash the thing with it thinking he'll just get annoyed and go lodge a complaint or something and I kinda watch it hobble a few steps and then, dead. He stopped moving straight and to be honest I was quite shocked. Turns out boilin water kinda pretty much kills the bastards so now Im thinking, why the hell did scientists waste time with radioactivity and why do we buy Doom and Raid when all we really need is a kettle? If Russel and Hobbs also said their kettles were ace cockroach killing machines, Im pretty certain every household would have their kettles. That would also make people appreciate the brand and then they'd buy their toasters and if appliance companies said their microwaves killed roaches then obviously I'd know how to work one properly by now?

I know Im a flipping genius but seriously now, corporate giants must realize this because I come up with the best ideas, imagine how much more money they'd make with me as their think tank instead of hiring manatees to carry idea balls from one side of the tank to the other...